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How to Find a Rich Woman to Date

The Exact Steps: How to Date a Rich Woman

1. Hang out where you know a lot of rich people are. You don't have to move to Palm Beach or anything. Try an exclusive fitness center, an upscale restaurant like the Cheesecake Factory, or country club.

2. If you see that she's got a designer bag and sunglasses then you can probably go for it. Be careful and learn to recognize impostors.



3. Dress in all white (only if before labor day) many people don't know this but white makes you seem richer. Act like you're important and if you can get someone to call you and yell at them on the phone for a while. Consider investing in a nice and expensive phone.

4. Hang up and look to see if you've caught her eye. If so, approach her and try to make small talk, see if you can find out what her dad does for a living. If he's a surgeon, lawyer or if you recognize his name...you've found your girl!! Ask her out to somewhere expensive, like Mortons. This is the one gamble because you're obviously going to have to pay for the first date and you do not want her to think you are miserly so don't be afraid to splurge. If she's really hot you may not want to waste your time unless she seems to really dig you. Get her number and don't call her for a few days. You want to seem mysterious and hard to get. Don't seem available or desperate.



5. Congratulations! The hard part is over! Now all you have to do is impress her on your date and you're in! Sorry but you're going to have to go shopping and buy something way hot and in and get her a single red rose (a dozen seems desperate) Wear a memorable cologne and if you can spray some on her clothes (in secret) before the night is over to jog her memory when she goes to take off her clothes. This will get her remembering you and wanting more. Be a gentleman on your date. Have a friend call you in the middle of the date. Apologize profusely to your hot date and speak gruffly but with class to your friend. She will be intrigued and think of her important daddy.

6. For your second date go somewhere free. Try a walk in the park or the beach. It won't break the bank and will show her you have a softer side. Have your buddy call you again but instead of answering it this time look at the call and turn off your phone or, better yet, if she will fall for it, do like in the movies and break it. She will instantly be in love with you.



7. If all goes well the two of you will soon be tighter than ever. Begin to let her offer to pay and soon things will fall in to place. Research her dad on the Internet or talk to his assistants and see if you can find his interests. When she takes you to meet them, bring a bottle of the most expensive wine (try your parents wine collection if you live near them) Tell her mom you know where her daughter got her looks and make sure you compliment her fathers cars, house, pool, etc. and make sure you talk about those interests you found out about him. It helps to bring "props" if possible. Never lie, just stretch the truth.

Tips and Tricks

• You have to decide early on whether your rich persona will be nouveau rich or old money rich. Both approaches have upsides and downsides.


• Falling in love with this girl is always a plus. You will never have to worry about money again.


• Winning her dad over is key.


• Make sure you got game.


• Wear expensive cologne.


• In the long run, money wont make you compatible so try to find your own ways to become rich, instead of looking for someone with money.

Warning!

You might end up marrying a woman that you do not love. This is a good recipe for an unhappy life. Then again, this won't be such a big deal since you will be able to cash in on alimony payments when the marriage ends up in divorce.

Via www.wikihow.com.

How to Use condoms: a Complete Guide - Part 1

Why do I need to use a condom?

Condoms are the only form of protection that can both help to stop the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as HIV and prevent pregnancy.

Getting ready, choosing the right condom

A number of different types of condom are now available. What is generally called a condom is the 'male' condom, a sheath or covering which fits over a man's penis, and which is closed at one end.

There is also now a female condom, or vaginal sheath, which is used by a woman and which fits inside her vagina. The rest of this page is about the male condom.

What are condoms made of?

Condoms are usually made of latex or polyurethane. If possible you should use a latex condom, as they are slightly more reliable, and in most countries they are most readily available.

Latex condoms can only be used with water based lubricants, not oil based lubricants such as Vaseline or cold cream as they break down the latex. A small number of people have an allergic reaction to latex and can use polyurethane condoms instead.

Polyurethane condoms are made of a type of plastic. They are thinner than latex condoms, and so they increase sensitivity and are more agreeable in feel and appearance to some users. They are more expensive than latex condoms and slightly less flexible so more lubrication may be needed. However both oil and water based lubricants can be used with them.

It's not clear whether latex or polyurethane condoms are stronger – there are studies suggesting that either is less likely to break. With both types however, the likelihood of breakages is very small if used correctly.

The lubrication on condoms also varies. Some condoms are not lubricated at all, some are lubricated with a silicone substance, and some condoms have a water-based lubricant. The lubrication on condoms aims to make the condom easier to put on and more comfortable to use. It can also help prevent condom breakage.

Spermicides and Nonoxynol 9

Condoms and lubricants sometimes contain a spermicide called Nonoxynol 9. Adding Nonoxynol 9 to condoms was thought in the past to help to prevent pregnancy and the transmission of HIV and other STDs, but it is now known to be ineffective.

Some people have an allergic reaction to Nonoxynol 9 that can result in little sores, which can actually make the transmission of HIV more likely. Because of this, you should only use condoms and lubricants containing Nonoxynol 9 if you are HIV negative and know that your partner is too. However, using a condom (even if it contains Nonoxynol 9) is much safer than having unprotected sex.

What shapes are there and which should I choose? What about flavoured condoms?

Condoms come in a variety of shapes. Most have a reservoir tip although some do have a plain tip. Condoms may be regular shaped (with straight sides), form fit (indented below the head of the penis), or they may be flared (wider over the head of the penis).

Ribbed condoms are textured with ribs or bumps, which can increase sensation for both partners. Condoms also come in a variety of colours.

It's up to you which shape you choose. All of the differences in shape are designed to suit different personal preferences and enhance pleasure. It is important to communicate with your partner to be sure that you are using condoms that satisfy both of you.

Some condoms are flavoured to make oral sex more enjoyable. They are also safe to use for penetrative sex as long as they have been tested and approved.

What about the condom size?

Condoms are made in different lengths and widths, and different manufacturers produce varying sizes.

There is no standard length for condoms, though those made from natural rubber will in addition always stretch if necessary to fit the length of the man's erect penis.

The width of a condom can also vary. Some condoms have a slightly smaller width to give a "closer" fit, whereas others will be slightly larger. Condom makers have realised that different lengths and widths are needed and are increasingly broadening their range of sizes.

The brand names will be different in each country, so you will need to do your own investigation of different names. There is no particular best brand of condom.

From avert.org.

How to Use iPhone to Impress Women

When iPhone was first released, just having one was enough to draw attention and establish hipness with beautiful women. Remember when girls crowded around for a demonstration of the magical touchscreen or to watch YouTube videos in the palm of your hand?

Their eyes widened with childlike wonder as you described the beauty and elegance of iPhone and its utter superiority to every device known to man.

Sadly, those days are gone. In the past year iPhone has become common place. With the coming price drop to $200 any goober will be able to get one.

Yet the iPhone is still a powerful tool. Here are the best ways to unleash the seductive power of iPhone.

1. Unlock it

Nothing tempts a girl's wild side like a bad boy, and that's exactly what an unlocked iPhone says: I don't play by the rules, danger doesn't scare me, and I have crazy skills you can't even comprehend. Plus it gives you access to the 3rd party apps that are too cool for regular users.

Who cares if it can be done by any chump in 45 seconds. She doesn't know that. Bonus points for using the term "hacked" and alluding to the danger of an iPhone being "bricked".

2. All-Star Photo Album

So you just met a cute girl. How do you prove that you do amazing things all the time and have many cool friends? This is the ideal use-case for the All-Star photo album. Create a special album on your iPhone of all your most impressive pics: snow boarding in the Swiss Alps, you with your friends at the Radiohead concert, and pictures of you with other attractive women are all good candidates.

When you get her alone for a moment, say something like, "OMG you've gotta see this photo of me [insert cool thing here]" and proceed to go through the entire album, commenting about how great a time you had and how cool your friends are.

3. iPod Tunes Master

Dozens of targeted playlists in the palm of your hand. This needs no explanation. Create playlists to set different moods: chill, party-time, low key, and of course, romantic. To get the ultimate effect, invest in a set of portable speakers. When you bust out the tunes at the beach, park, etc. you will be the man. We highly recommend flipping through cover flow mode for maximum visual effect.

4. Contacts, the more the merrier

Make sure you have lots of contacts, because seriously, you are so freaking popular. To inflate your contacts count, import all of your email contacts into your address book and upload them to iPhone. She won't know that 2/3 of those people have never seen you in person.

Expert tip: Complain about searching your contacts list saying, "I can't stand looking for contacts on my iPhone -- it only lets you search by 1 letter. How am I supposed to sort through 300 Johns?" Note: This is the only acceptable circumstance to complain about iPhone.

5. Stocks

Women like men with money and ambition. Show her you're on the way to wealth by constantly checking your stocks. When you catch her trying to see what you're looking at, casually comment on your gains and losses, throwing around buzz words like "credit crisis", "oil bubble", and "consumer confidence". Assure her you will achieve superior returns by investing in commodities and precious metals that will be essential to the growth of developing nations.

6. Save the Day with Maps

Maps is the ultimate clutch iPhone feature. The best time to break it out is when you're with a group of people and need to find something in an unknown area -- pizza, hardware store, gas station, etc. As soon as the opportunity arises, execute a search in maps and lead the group to success. Even better if you can use iPhone to instantly call the place. By solving the problem and taking charge you'll establish yourself as a resourceful leader -- a quality highly regarded by women.

7. Look Smart with Safari

When an argument arises over a particular fact, look smarter than everyone else by finding the correct answer with Google. This is the only time you will wish to conceal iPhone use from females. It's great for settling disputes about the proper definition of a word or the location of obscure African nations.

In case it's not clear, using iPhone will make you look like a rich, smart, cultured, resourceful, exciting, and popular bad ass. We can't wait for 3G.

Via www.peoplejam.com.

Why Do Women Date Older Men?

Do you remember when you were twenty years old and that beautiful twenty-year-old brunette who never once looked at you because she thought you were too young and too immature -- even though the two of you were the same age? She was the type of woman who dated men in their late twenties or early thirties.

Now that you're in your late twenties or early thirties, you still can't attract that brunette because she still wants an older man (now between thirty five to forty five years old). Well guess what? It's time for you to start dating younger women too.

Understanding Young Women

It is a known fact that women are attracted to older men. When I say older, I don't necessarily mean that a twenty-five year old will date a man who's seventy-three. What I'm saying is that relative to their own age, women, in general, will date men that are a few years older than themselves. So if a woman is twenty, she'll date a man in his thirties. If she's thirty, she'll probably date a man in his forties and so on. Why is it that women behave in such a way? The following passage from "How to Date Young Women" by R. Don Steele best explains it:

She is primarily interested in getting a husband-to-be on the hook. It takes her a year of going steady to feel she has got him under control.

Once this is accomplished, she wants to see what she has been missing. She goes dancing and partying with "the girls" where she practices interacting with new boys and young men. After a few months, she's ready again. Her experimentation begins with another boy, her naive version of an affair. She enjoys the excitement of getting away with something so she finds one Randy RedPorsche, a singles' bar professional. He bangs her on Thursday nights when she's "out with the girls" and on Monday nights when Jimmy's "out with the boys."

When Jimmy finds out, he breaks up with her. But soon RedPorsche gets bored and trashes her. She begs Jimmy to take her back. He does. Each claims to have discovered how much they really love each other after four weeks apart. They prove it by exchanging wedding vows. In reality, they're both terrified of the single world.

If Jimmy won't take her back, she tries a brief but uninspired crack at single life. After getting screwed literally and figuratively by one user after another...she becomes as plastic as the rest and starts hanging out in pick-up bars.

Of course, after realizing that the world is not as rosy as it seems, she soon appreciates the maturity of an older man. This is where we come along.

What She Looks For

Most women will admit that they want a strong man who can stand his own ground and be confident. Back in the day, this meant an egg fertilizer with blessed genetics who could hunt to feed his family while protecting them from predators.



Of course, today we live in a more civilized society. Women no longer need a mate, hunter or protector (they now have sperm clinics, supermarkets and police officers to do that). But because of her upbringing, a woman still expects a man to provide for his family. She now expects her man to be mature and provide financial stability along with long-term security.

Fertilizing her eggs is no longer enough to satisfy a woman. The Romantic Era and current television soap operas have inspired women to seek out men who have the sexual experience to enlighten the consummate. Women want men who have more than just oral sex on their minds; they want men who know every single sensual spot on (and in) their bodies, and who take the time to explore them thoroughly.

All these traits can be found in most men that are eighteen or over. But more often than not, women will associate older men with the capability of providing all the aforementioned traits. The only thing older men need to do is seduce them.

How to Seduce Her

Not all women are the same -- especially if they still haven't gone through that first love experience. But this does not mean you still can't flirt with that beautiful twenty one year old red head that works in the same building as you. Some young women will entertain the idea of dating an older man, while others will diplomatically pass up the invitation. But if you want to improve your chances, then you should keep these tips in mind:

Be a friend: The last thing a young woman needs is a man that wants what every other boy wants -- to get into her pants. She shouldn't feel as if you want something more than just a friendly chit-chat.

Be spontaneous: A woman likes a man who does things differently. It shows them that he is independent and fun to be with. After becoming friends, invite her to the local jazz club or the latest concert in town. The idea is to do something fun and expensive that other young men would not think of because they can't afford it.

Please her: Show her your maturity by doing the little important things. Proper grooming, dressing well, smelling good, and kissing her on the cheek (let her smell your cologne) all fit into this category. Show her the advantages of a comfortable car rather than having to take the bus. Don't be afraid to pay for her dinner (this demonstrates financial stability).

Be patient: After a couple of dates, never make the first move. If something will happen between the two of you, it will be her choice and at her own speed. But once she does make the first move, don't act like a teenage boy wanting to speed things up to the goal of "dipping the stick".

Instead, show her that she can trust you, that you won't force her to do anything that she does not feel comfortable with. You can do this by throwing her off balance by doing the unexpected such as just massaging her without going further. Make her think, "why doesn't he go further?" Always be a gentleman and keep her wanting more.

Over the years, we've come to accept that older is better because it has passed the test of time. This is thoroughly demonstrated through those who collect antique furniture or wine enthusiasts who appreciate a fifty-year-old bottle of Taylor Fladgate Porto. Because people associate age with experience -- and experience with better performance -- women will forever want to date older men.

Via askmen.com.

A Secret Women Know But Men Don't

By David DeAngelo



I'd like to tell you a story...

It's a story that you might find strangely
familiar. Don't be alarmed.

Once upon a time, there was a man who was very
attracted to a particular woman.

At first, she was just another attractive
woman... but the more he got to know her, the
more he began to feel attracted to her... and
the more time he spent with her, the more that
attraction grew into a deep emotional
attachment and affection for her.

But there was one problem.

As his emotional attachment grew stronger and
stronger, he also grew more and more insecure.

Why?

Because he couldn't tell whether or not she
felt the same way towards him.

Sometimes she would say things like "You are
so important to me" and "I'm glad that you're in
my life"... but nothing ever progressed past the
"friendship" stage.

There was an occasional hug, an occasional
kiss on the cheek from her... and once she even
held his hand for a long time while he talked
about an emotional issue.

But something was wrong with the picture.

She just wasn't acting like a woman that was
"falling in love". She was acting like a friend.

The insecurity that he felt became a spiral
that amplified itself... and the more insecure he
became, the more afraid he grew of "screwing
things up" by kissing her or asking her to be
his girlfriend.

Plus, the more insecure he became, the less
time she seemed to want to spend with him.

After spending many days and nights obsessing
over this girl, the man finally arrived at the
conclusion that if she only knew how HE FELT,
that she would feel the same way.

So he made a bold move.

He TOLD HER how he felt.

He confessed that he was in love, and that he
would do anything to be with her.

She looked at him with compassion in her eyes
and said "Thank you... I really mean that... but
I don't want to mess up our friendship... you're
too important to me...".

This only confused the man more.

He didn't know how to take it...

Did it mean that she really loved him too, but
that she was afraid of something?

Did it mean that she wasn't ready for a long-
term relationship?

Did it mean that she didn't love him, but that
she was trying to give him a hint?

Did it mean that he hadn't tried hard enough?

Did it mean that he needed to put everything on
the line and REALLY let her know how he felt?

He finally decided that he couldn't go on like
this anymore... he had to be with her.

He had to make sure that she knew just how much
he wanted to be with her... so he took a big step,
bought her a symbolic gift, and wrote her a long,
long letter... again confessing his feelings.

And then the unthinkable happened.

She didn't reply.

He called her three times a day for almost a
week before reaching her.

She made an excuse about being very busy, and
said "I'll try to give you a call soon, I have
to go"... and hung up...

...but he never got a call back.

Over the following months, the man tried
desperately to understand what went wrong... and
what happened.

THE END

OK, I'm back.

Now, wasn't that a sweet story?

Heart warming, huh?

I know, I should keep my day job, and not take
up writing romance novels...

Now, let's talk about that story.

That story is basically a MYTH.

And I'm not talking about FICTION here.

I'm talking about a story that rings true for
a great majority of men. A story that is timeless.
A story that resonates at a deep level because you
can IDENTIFY with it.

And why does this particular story resonate for
most men?

Because we've all been there in one way or
another... at one time or another... and many of
us have been there OFTEN in our lives.

Another thing that gives this particular story
a lot of power is the powerful negative emotions
that it stirs... as a result of the powerful
negative experiences that it reminds us of...

Stories and situations like this one really
FASCINATE me.

They fascinate me because I see them as an
opportunity to UNDERSTAND and SOLVE the puzzles
that they represent.

In this particular situation I think there is
a solution.

And it lies in understanding a secret that
women know but MEN DON'T.

And that secret comes down to the reality that
if a woman isn't ATTRACTED to a man, all of his
attempts to confess his love, convince her to
like him, and court her BACKFIRE.

In other words, they not only DON'T WORK,
they actually make things WORSE.

In other words, the very things that a man does
to try to make a woman LIKE HIM make her NOT
like him. They make her run.

All those great intentions and emotional
dedication actual cause the man feeling them to
do things that make her go away.

It sucks.

And I hope that by explaining the process of
how this happens to you I'll help you avoid this
painful situation in your own future...


THE "INSTANT EWWW"

I'm always fascinated by the idea that we
humans don't always understand the message that
we're communicating to others...

So often we think that because we WANT to
communicate a message that others are going to
NATURALLY understand what we're trying to say.

Have you ever seen a guy in a foreign car
that has wheels on it that cost more than the
car itself... with his stereo blasting... and
a muffler that somehow AMPLIFIES the raw sound
of the 4-cylinder motor...?

Have you ever thought to yourself "I don't
think that car is communicating the message to
women that he thinks it is"...?

Yea, I have too.

Well here's the deal:

If you do something to "let a woman know how
you feel"... but she isn't ATTRACTED to you, then
it's going to backfire.

It's going to trigger a feeling that like to
call the "Instant Ewww".

The Instant Ewww is just as powerful as the
physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION.

Once a woman feels it, YOU'RE DONE.

It's over.

It's like hammering a RAILROAD SPIKE into
the coffin.

Once a woman feels the Instant Ewww, she will
start behaving differently.

In short, she'll disappear.

So where did I get the concept of the "Instant
Ewww"?

I got it from WOMEN.

I have actually heard SEVERAL women use the
word "Ewww" when describing how they felt about
a guy that was "confessing his love"... of course,
these were guys that weren't loved in return.

So what causes the Instant Ewww?

And why would a woman feel it towards a man who
was trying to be nice... a guy who was giving her
a gift or telling her how he feels?

Because if you think about it from HER
perspective, you'll realize that the moment a
you do something to "confess", you have created a
TURNING POINT in the relationship.

Up until that point, you were harmless.

I mean, women always know how men feel.

She already knew you wanted her.

She knew it from the beginning.

But now that you've started pursuing her and
talking about how you feel, you've created a
NEGATIVE TENSION that is VERY uncomfortable.

You've triggered an emotion that is repulsive
to women. And it does repel them.

In summary...

You can't "make a woman like you" or "change
how she feels about you" by doing nice things for
her...

Doing "nice" things for a woman who isn't
attracted to you HURTS you. It backfires. Worse,
it creates the "Instant Ewww" feeling that makes
it so she'll NEVER like you.

Men make this mistake over and over again in
life because they're doing what MAKES SENSE to
them. They're doing it because they don't have
an understanding of ATTRACTION.

I mean, If you have a friend, and you like
them, and you want to make them like you more...
and you do some nice thing for them, they will
probably like you more.

On the other hand...

If you have a woman that you "like" in a romantic
way, and she doesn't "feel it" for you, and you
do something nice for her because you want HER to
like you more, it will BACKFIRE... and she will
not only NOT like you more, she will most likely
distance herself from you.

Guys think that they need to communicate when
they like a woman... as if that's part of the
necessary process of getting a girl.

In their minds, it goes like this:

Like her>Tell her you like her>She likes you

Well remember... if you follow this pattern
yourself with women who aren't ATTRACTED to you,
then it's going to BACKFIRE.

If she's not into you, then it goes like THIS:

She thinks of you as a friend>You tell her you
like her>She gets the "Instant Ewwws" and never
wants to be around you again...


THE ANSWER

There are really TWO answers to this problem.

The first answer is what to do if you're in a
situation where you like a particular girl, but
you don't know if she likes you back.

DON'T GET HEAVY WITH HER.

Don't buy her a big gift and write a love
letter...

Don't send her ten dozen roses to her work
with a not that says "From your secret admirer".

Don't call her three times a day.

And DON'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for her.

If you want to know how she feels about you,
KISS HER (and use "The Kiss Test" that you
learned on my website and in my book).

As a rule of thumb, don't get heavier than
HER. Use SIGNALS from her to find out how she
feels... and if you don't know how to read and
create those signals, then LEARN.

Asking a woman if she's interested in your
in a romantic way, or if you are "her type" will
actually DESTROY the chances that she'll like
you.

Really.

The SECOND answer is to not get into this
particular situation in the FIRST PLACE. Avoid
it entirely.

And how does one do that?

One does that by creating ATTRACTION from
the beginning.

One does that by understanding the dynamics
of how and why women have the physical and
emotional response of ATTRACTION triggered.

One does that by knowing what you're doing
FROM THE BEGINNING.

And what's the best way to learn THAT
skill?

I thought you'd never ask...

The very best way to learn how to make women
feel ATTRACTION for you is to get yourself a
copy of my eBook, Double Your Dating.

I've spent several years now studying the
ways that men who are "naturals" communicate
using their words, voice tone, and body language
that makes them MAGNETIC to women.

And I'll tell you... it's not magic.

You don't have to be rich, handsome, or young.

And you don't have to be LUCKY.

What you DO have to do is LEARN.

It's a skill, and I honestly believe that ANY
man can learn it if he wants.

But you're not likely to figure it out by
"trial and error". Many of the keys to making
women feel ATTRACTION aren't "obvious" at all.

In fact, many of them make no sense... and
they're the LAST thing you'd do in a particular
situation if you didn't know the SECRETS.

I'm telling you, this book will show you
the way. I guarantee that this program will
INSTANTLY change how you behave around women.

And it will start getting you results
IMMEDIATELY.

In addition, I'd also like to invite you to sign up for my free dating tips newsletter.

It's free, there's no obligation, I'll never share your email address with anyone, and you can easily remove yourself anytime with no hassles (and no, I'll never pull any of these tricks where I send you a bunch of unwanted junk email when you try to remove yourself).

It's JAM PACKED with dozens and dozens of specific strategies for overcoming fear, approaching women, getting phone numbers and email address from women quickly, great inexpensive or even free date ideas, and advice on how to take things to a "physical" level smoothly and easily.

Via datingtips4men.com.

Bad guys really do get the most girls

NICE guys knew it, now two studies have confirmed it: bad boys get the most girls. The finding may help explain why a nasty suite of antisocial personality traits known as the "dark triad" persists in the human population, despite their potentially grave cultural costs.



The traits are the self-obsession of narcissism; the impulsive, thrill-seeking and callous behaviour of psychopaths; and the deceitful and exploitative nature of Machiavellianism. At their extreme, these traits would be highly detrimental for life in traditional human societies. People with these personalities risk being shunned by others and shut out of relationships, leaving them without a mate, hungry and vulnerable to predators.But being just slightly evil could have an upside: a prolific sex life, says Peter Jonason at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces. "We have some evidence that the three traits are really the same thing and may represent a successful evolutionary strategy."

Jonason and his colleagues subjected 200 college students to personality tests designed to rank them for each of the dark triad traits. They also asked about their attitudes to sexual relationships and about their sex lives, including how many partners they'd had and whether they were seeking brief affairs.

The study found that those who scored higher on the dark triad personality traits tended to have more partners and more desire for short-term relationships, Jonason reported at the Human Behavior and Evolution Society meeting in Kyoto, Japan, earlier this month. But the correlation only held in males.

James Bond epitomises this set of traits, Jonason says. "He's clearly disagreeable, very extroverted and likes trying new things - killing people, new women." Just as Bond seduces woman after woman, people with dark triad traits may be more successful with a quantity-style or shotgun approach to reproduction, even if they don't stick around for parenting. "The strategy seems to have worked. We still have these traits," Jonason says.

This observation seems to hold across cultures. David Schmitt of Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois, presented preliminary results at the same meeting from a survey of more than 35,000 people in 57 countries. He found a similar link between the dark triad and reproductive success in men. "It is universal across cultures for high dark triad scorers to be more active in short-term mating," Schmitt says. "They are more likely to try and poach other people's partners for a brief affair."

Barbara Oakley of Oakland University in Rochester, Michigan, says that the studies "verify something a lot of people have conjectured about".

Christopher von Rueden of the University of California at Santa Barbara says that the studies are important because they confirm that personality variation has direct fitness consequences.

"They still have to explain why it hasn't spread to everyone," says Matthew Keller of the University of Colorado in Boulder. "There must be some cost of the traits." One possibility, both Keller and Jonason suggest, is that the strategy is most successful when dark triad personalities are rare. Otherwise, others would become more wary and guarded.

Via www.newscientist.com.

How To Date a Cute Girl from Work without Losing your Job

Odds say that 53% of men is eyeing up a work colleague. That includes you.
But a lot of these guys don’t take any action, because lets be frank; we don’t want to embarrass ourselves in front of the whole company.

And you might lose your job. Maybe she might. Maybe you like it the way you can talk friendly to each other right now, and you don’t want any sour feelings between you.
There are 100’s of excuses and fears for not trying. But they don’t get you anywhere.
So let’s get down to business and see how you can approach her with minimum embarrassment and maximum results.

The how-to of dating women at work

• Get to know her in a casual way. As some wise guy once said, “start by laying the foundations”. This is very important when it comes to dating a work girl. Smoothly start to make small talk with her at the water cooler. Talk to her casually at lunch. Simply make sure that she knows your name and who you are.


• See her outside of work. Now that she knows who you are and you (may) have some friends in common, what would be more natural than grabbing a beer after work? Take 5-6 colleagues (including her) to a bar one day for a happy hour. Have fun! Be the guy that she would want to be with. Don’t flirt too heavily though, it’s best that she doesn’t know your dark intentions yet. This way there’s no pressure. At the bar, you can play a cute game with her. Remember that entertainment and fun is the most valuable values you can possess. So be fun, and have fun!


• Be alone with her. This is the natural next step. If you enjoy her company, and she enjoys yours, you should get to know each other better. Don’t go overboard with things just yet, take it easy. Casually ask her what she is doing for lunch one day, or do a project together. Maybe just meet up with her at the coffee machine for a five minute conversation. It’s important that it’s just you and her, as she will most likely start to see you in a slightly new light afterwards. Also, if she has had some dirty thoughts about you, being alone with you confirms to her that there aren’t going to be awkward silence when it’s just you two, which may have held her back. Remember this: It’s not a date. It’s just two co-workers having lunch. Keep it light!


• Check your progress. When you, her, and a bunch of colleagues are out together, how does she act? Does she keep coming over to you, talking to you, drinking with you, touching you? (Such as placing her hand on your arm, or your shoulder.) If yes, it’s time to go further. If she is interested in you (romantically), you should definitely go for it. If not, you have three options. Number one is to give up. If you and her isn’t going anywhere, this might be a good one. Don’t spend too much time or energy on one girl. Don’t stop talking to her altogether, just cool down a little. Number two is to keep doing what you’re doing. If you’re making slow but steady progress, this is a good idea. Just move things forward slowly. If you’re not, Number 3 is to change your approach. Do something new and different. If what you’re doing doesn’t work, do something else.


• Ask her out. If everything has been going as it should, asking her out should be easy as cake. You want to get to know her better, and you feel attracted to each other. Go get her tiger!

With this approach, you run (almost) no chances. Until you’re sure that you get positive signs from her, you keep it very fun and friendly.
But when the signs do come, you turn it up a notch. Nothing too heavily, especially not in front of your work mates, but make sure to always more forward. Remember the “Two steps forward, one step back” rule.
Following these simple tips, you shouldn’t have a hard time dating girls from work. The most important things to remember is to keep it fun, keep it light and keep it casual. Make it really natural and flowing, and lay off all pressure so it won’t get awkward.

There are no limitations

No practical post without a little bit of motivational speak…
Remember that “time never waits”. Our bodies change every second. We get older. The world moves on. So don’t be afraid of change!
Give it a chance. Don’t ever disregard anything without giving it a fair shot.
No girl is “out of your league”. Don’t ever worry about what life “would be like”. Try to live and take action instead. Your best is always enough. It’s better than enough.

Good luck soldier!

Via justkeepthechange.com.

Men prefer being solo over a bad marriage: study

SYDNEY (Reuters Life!) - Bachelor Carl Weisman got fed up of being classified as a playboy, a loser or a commitment-phobe so he set out to find out exactly why he and a growing number of eligible men were steering clear of marriage.
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Weisman, 49, conducted a survey of 1,533 heterosexual men to research a book aiming to give women an insight into why some smart, successful men opted to stay single -- and help lifelong bachelors understand why they are still the solo man at parties.

He concluded that most men were not afraid of marriage -- but they were afraid of a bad marriage.

"Men are 10 times more scared of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all," Weisman told Reuters in a telephone interview.

"This is the first generation of people who have grown up with bad divorces. People assume there is something wrong if you don't marry but these are men who have made a different choice and not given in to social pressures."

The release of his book "So Why Have You Never Been Married? - Ten Insights into Why He Hasn't Wed," comes amid a growing trend for more people to stay single, with less social or religious pressures on men -- and women -- to tie the knot.

Weisman said U.S. figures showed that in 1980 about 6 percent of men aged in their early 40s had never married but this number had now risen to 17 percent.

AFRAID TO MAKE MISTAKES

Weisman said his online survey found there are three groups of bachelors -- about 8 percent who never want to marry, 62 percent want to marry but of which half won't settle for anything less than perfection, and about 30 percent who are on the fence.

Four out of 10 bachelors did not want children compared to three out of 10 wanting to be a father. The rest were undecided.

But while 72 percent of respondents said they were not afraid of marriage, about half of them said the situation that scared them most was marrying the wrong person.

"It's so important to these men to get it right. My best advice to single women after bachelors is to be patient. If you're in a hurry to get married you'll be frustrated," he said.

Weisman also found that financial issues, both positive and negative, played a large part in men's fear of commitment.

"Those with little money said they would have nothing to offer a partner, with some suffering self-esteem issues and withdrawing from the dating pool," said Weisman, an engineer-turned-author with two books now published.

"While those who are financially sound were terrified what a bad divorce could do to them."

Weisman said his research blew away any idea that single men were unhappy.

"A compelling issue was how many of them had found contentment in a never-married life," he said. "They had created lives full of careers, friends and ambitions. It was not like they walk around all day worried about not being married."

For him, researching the book made him also look at himself -- and he ended up living with a girlfriend for the first time.

"Now we're looking at getting married. As I researched the book I found I was looking at men 10 years older than me and it was like looking into the future. If I didn't change, nothing would," he said.

Via news.yahoo.com.

Dealing with a Break Up and Relationship Closure

Dear Dating Tips,
I am going through a break up right now, but I was the heart breaker. In fact, I've tried to end the relationship a couple of times during our time together, which was about more than a year ago. However, I remained with him to take care of him because he is not financially stable. He was without a job ever since he moved in with me, which was about a year ago. During one of our arguments, I even said that I would break up with him once he gets a job. I know money doesn't bring happiness but I'm also a college student, trying to take care of myself, too. I know financial reasons had strain on our relationship but I think that was what kept it together as well.

He was a great guy, real attentive, and he really treasured me. He made me feel like I was a goddess and he didn't deserve me. He is very reliable and always there when I need him. We couldn't stand to be apart from one another. He and I ditched the things that we love to do to be with each other.


What to do when you need to leave your love?

Then things started to go down the hill ever since I returned from summer break. He started to go out more, but I would rather spend time with him at home because I had grown out of the clubbing seen. I would tell him to go out with his boys while I spend my weekend with my other roommate. Then eventually, I felt like I wasn't a part of his life and my dissatisfaction with the relationship grew. Our sex life was almost non-existent. In fact, when we would make love, I would try to force the emotion and try to make a connection.

Then winter break begins. Distance didn't help the relationship. I was tired of calling him and so I waited to hear from him. A few days later, I heard from him and was so fed up with the disconnection that I decided to break up with him. I wasn't feeling satisfied. Believe me, I made I clear to him many times before that I want to feel important, not forgotten. But my needs weren't being met.

I read your "Eight warning signs that he is going to end the relationship", #1 and #2 are my reasons and the rest are his. What is my problem? I know the relationship is not healthy for my happiness anymore, so why do I feel so much pain? Did I make a mistake? I didn't break up with him in person; it was over the mail and phone. He moved out and I haven't spoke to him ever since I returned to college.

You know what's funny? If I had received a bouquet of flowers with an apology, I would have forgiven him. I guess I might need closure, but I've always try to avoid him when I see him. He has not tried to make any contact with me directly, although he would tell my roommate to say "hi" to me. I want to see him and make it final, but at the same time, I refuse to see him because I'm afraid that I might be weak again.
~ Needing Closure


How to break up the relationship and not to break down yourself?

Dear Needing Closure,
Thousands of people are dealing with issues of pain involving breakups on a daily basis. And many of these are even the people who instigated the breakup. It is possible to make a strong connection with someone, but not be able to take that connection to the next level due to other circumstances within the relationship. And this causes great difficulty because when you sever the relationship, you are severing the connection. Anytime a close connection is broke, it's painful.

Your story reminds me of the song and music video "White Flag" by Dido. Listen to it and you'll know exactly what I mean.

You obviously still have feelings for this person and that is normal. It takes some people years to get over a breakup. When you form a connection with someone, that connection becomes a part of you. So when that connection is severed, it takes time to get accustomed to being without it.

You've acknowledged a couple of important things about the relationship you had:

1) You didn't feel satisfied.

2) You know the relationship is not healthy for you.

Going back into a relationship with this person likely won't change either point you made. People don't change. And that's why saying goodbye is sometimes the only option, even though the pain of saying goodbye may last for years.

That brings us to the topic of closure.

I once dated a wonderful woman and we had an absolutely great connection. However, like with your situation, there were things within the relationship that prevented it from moving to the next level. The breakup was very hard on both of us.

Nearly two years after the relationship had ended, I received a phone call from this person. She wanted to see me. I agreed. We met and had a good conversation, but that was it. She had just been proposed to and needed to see me one last time in order to bring closure to our past together. At the end of our meeting she gave me a strong hug that lasted for over a minute. That's all she needed to say her final goodbye and move on to a new chapter of her life.

If you feel you need closure then go ahead and request a meeting in order to bring that closure you need and to say your final goodbye. When you're done, move on with your life. Yes, you'll still think of him because deep down there is still something there. That is normal. But the closure may help you move on.

Once you have closure, start to lead a more active life. You may consider volunteering for a good cause. Keeping your life busy keeps your mind busy. In addition, you may meet a great guy in the process. If you're ready to get back into the dating scene, there's no better way to meet another than online dating. And once you've found that gem, cultivate the relationship. Look for someone that will appreciate you always and be sure to show your appreciation to that person. Best of luck to you.

Via onlinedatingmagazine.com.

10 WAYS TO LAST LONGER IN BED

The average guy lasts only 5 to 10 minutes during sex, and 71 percent of men want better sexual endurance. Use these strategies and ye shall, ahem, overcome.

Master masturbation.

Masturbate with a woman's orgasm in mind, not your own. In other words, take your time: Work up to 15 minutes. Bring yourself close to the point of no return, but don't let yourself ejaculate until time is up.

Squeeze.

If you're overheating during sex, stop and squeeze right below the head of your penis, focusing the pressure on the urethra — the tube running along the underside of the penis. This pushes blood out of the penis and momentarily represses the ejaculatory response.

Pinpoint ejaculatory inevitability.

The process of sexual response has four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. The trick is to recognize the spectrum of feelings throughout the process. Rate your sexual excitement on a scale of 1 to 10. Try keeping yourself at 7.

Sexercise.

A Kegel is an exercise that helps tighten muscles responsible for ejaculatory control. Become familiar with them by cutting off the flow of urine and then starting and stopping it repeatedly. Once you have the exercise down, practice your Kegels anywhere: at your desk, behind the wheel. Tighten your muscles and hold for a count of 10, then release.

Press, don't thrust.

Press the end of your penis into her clitoral head. Linger in her vaginal entrance, where the most sensitive nerve endings are. When you do have intercourse, focus on small, shallow movements that penetrate the first 2 to 3 inches of her vagina.

Show a little courtesy.

Ladies first, gentlemen — and we're talking about more than just holding the door open. When you help her have an orgasm first, it relieves you of some of the pressure to please and the psychological anxiety that feeds into PE.

Ask your doctor about Prozac.

A recent study showed that 73 percent of men who suffered from premature ejaculation either were cured or improved after taking 20 milligrams of Prozac a day for a week and 40 mg thereafter.

Go for a second round.

Shrug off an early emission with some extra attention to her arousal (yes, it means staying awake), then getting back in the saddle. Most men last much longer the second time around. And the more you practice, the longer that first time will last.

Let her climb on.

When she's on top, your penis is less stimulated. And ask her to go slowly — long and fast thrusting is hazardous to a man's endurance.

Stop thinking of your orgasm.

The area of the brain responsible for triggering orgasm is engaged whether you're trying to have one or halt one. The more attention you give it, the more likely it is to arrive. Focus on what's happening now — her silky thighs on your hips, say — and you'll diffuse pleasure throughout your whole body.

Via menshealth.com.

How to Become an Alpha Male- Get the Hell Out of MY Head!

Before you can even become an alpha male, you need to start afresh. When I say starting afresh, it means getting over your past failed relationships. The reason why many people fear getting their dating life handled is because they have a failed relationship and they lose faith in getting into another relationship.



I am not a relationship expert and most of my tips are not meant for staying in a long relationship. However, since I was a beta male not too long ago, I have experienced many not so pleasant relationships. I can understand many of your pain and agony but I still pick myself up. Today’s article, you may have guessed it, is on getting her OUT of your HEAD forever!

If you still don’t know what I mean, it means getting over your past relationship. Let’s get her out of your mind right away…

To solve this problem, I personally think that you need to prevent it first. So, how do you even prevent this problem from happening? Well, don’t build or centered your life on boy girl relationships. This is the worst thing that many people do. They put all their energy and effort onto the relationship. They worked hard because of the relationship, they save money because of relationship; they spend money because of relationship. Whatever they do, the purpose behind is because of relationship. And when the relationship fails, their life crumbles. Instead of building your life on relationship, build your life upon principles. Principles like integrity, diligence, determination etc. I am not saying that you don’t look after your relationship but not to build your life on them. It is too dangerous.

If your relationship has really ended, accept it and end any kind of hope that both of you will get back together. I know it may sounds hard but you need to accept the fact that both of you are not going to get back together. Once you truthfully accept it, you will start to heal from the relationship.

Stay busy. You may have heard me mention this before but I am going to say it again. Staying busy not only helps you get the girl that you want but also help you get her out of your mind. After your day job, hang out with your friends or hit out at the gym. Talk to your best male friends about the relationship and laugh about it. Enjoy the moment of laughing about it. A not so successful relationship won’t affect your life.

Go get a new girlfriend. What else is the best way to get over her? That’s right, go get yourself a women that is more worthy of your attention and care. She’s the one who is losing out when she wants to end the relationship with you. You deserve someone much better than her. So, just kick yourself out of the sissy mode of brooding over the failed relationship and MOVE on with life.

My last tip for you today is getting the book here. By reading this book, you will be transformed into a real alpha male that naturally scores with women. Get your inner self settled you won’t even have a problem with any failed relationship. This is what an alpha male is supposed to be. So be the one in control of your dating life instead of her.

Via becomethealphamalenow.com.

Redheads 'have more sex than blondes or brunettes'

Blondes may have more fun but redheads have more sex, according to new research in Germany.



The study by Hamburg Sex Researcher Professor Dr Werner Habermehl looked at the sex lives of hundreds of German women and compared them with their hair colour.

He said: "The sex lives of women with red hair were clearly more active than those with other hair colour, with more partners and having sex more often than the average. The research shows that the fiery redhead certainly lives up to her reputation."

He added that women who dyed their hair red from another colour were signalling they were looking for a partner, and added: "Even women in a fixed relationship are letting their partners know they are unhappy if they dye their hair red. They are saying that they are looking for something better."

Psychologist Christine Baumanns said however that it may not be the women who were to blame for the better sex lives of redheads.

She said: "Red stands for passion and when a man sees a redhead he will think he is dealing with a woman who won't mess around, and gets straight to the point when it comes to sex."

Via dailymail.co.uk.

Study shows more sex for depressed women

DEPRESSED women have more sex than those who are happier, regardless of whether they are in a relationship or not, a study of Australians has found.



A survey of Melbourne women presented at an international mental health conference has concluded that females who suffer from mild to moderate depression have a third more sexual activity than those who are not.

They also had more sexually liberated attitudes, a bigger variety of sexual experiences and, if single, were more likely to partake in casual sex, Dr Sabura Allen, a clinical psychologist at Monash University, said.

"It was more sex and more of everything from kissing to petting, foreplay and intercourse," said Dr Allen, who studied the recent sexual experiences of 107 depressed and non-depressed women who were in relationships.

"We knew this anecdotally from clinical samples but this is the first time it's been shown in research."

She said depressed women were likely seeking out sexual intimacy more often to help feel more secure.

"When people are depressed they feel more insecure about their relationships and concerned that their partner may not care about them or find them valuable," Dr Allen said.

"Having sex helps them feel that closeness and security."

Asked whether intercourse could be an effective balm for depression, the psychologist said "we really don't know but we presume it helps as it gives these women opportunities to be close to their partner and loved."

The team also is investigating depressed single women and has found a trend towards more casual sex than happier singles.

Dr Allen said Australian couples tend to have sex between once and three times a week, with "very much the majority in the once a week group".

Single women have it "significantly less", but the same is not necessarily true of single men.

The study, soon to be published in a British medical journal, was presented today at the International Congress on Women's Mental Health in Melbourne where the latest research in mental illness and hormone-related conditions is being showcased.

New studies have shown high rates of severe PMS and post-natal depression among Australian women, a dramatic drop in the abortion rate, and a promising new treatment for Alzheimer's disease.

Via news.com.au.

Unzip American Sexuality and What Do You Find? Tech

Brian Alexander investigates how Americans have sex in his new book, America Unzipped: In Search of Sex and Satisfaction.

When journalist Brian Alexander set out to investigate how Americans have sex, he didn't expect to be studying it through the lens of technology.

"I knew I was going to find that digital culture has changed the way people get sexually involved, but I surprised even myself at how true it really is," he says.

Alexander's new book, America Unzipped: In Search of Sex and Satisfaction found that you can't write about contemporary sexuality without bumping into technology.

Virtual worlds, chat rooms, social networking and Catholics using birth control -- sex is infused with tech at every turn.

Alexander is the Sexploration columnist at MSNBC.com and a contributing editor at Glamour magazine, and it sounds like his inbox looks a lot like mine. Like me, he noticed a shift in what readers were asking in the past year or so. More sophisticated queries ("Where can I learn more about safe ways to use electricity during sex?") were replacing questions about the basics ("If my husband wants me to put my finger in his ass, is he gay?").

Unlike me, he pitched a multimedia investigative series to find out why. The result is America Unzipped, which includes articles, online videos and discussion forums in addition to the book.

Alexander traveled all around the United States, delving into smaller communities and conservative regions as well as sexually progressive cities like Seattle and San Francisco, to uncover what we're really doing under the covers.

It turns out that Americans are not nearly as Puritanical, frightened, angry or perturbed as the religious groups and politicians waging the war on sex would have you believe.

We’re not even terribly bothered by the notion that technology has become an integral aspect of sexuality. In fact, "love and let love" is a much more widely held philosophy here than is generally assumed.

In the South, Alexander found that faith and sexual freedom can blossom side by side; plenty of Southern Baptists and Catholics see no conflict between their relationships with God and their choices to use birth control, sex toys, pornography or to have sex outside of marriage.

He tried his hand as a sex educator/retail clerk at an adult store in Tempe, Arizona for a week. ("The longer I worked there, the more I realized it's a very middle-class bourgeois thing to do, going to an adult store.") And as a Passion Parties assistant in the Midwest, he learned that mothers, daughters and sisters can sit comfortably around the living room to shop for arousal-enhancing gels and vibrating cock rings.

In Maryland, he spent time with a couple that uses Craigslist to find other people for group sex. "In five minutes she opened the laptop on the kitchen table, found responses to ads they'd placed, and decided who to meet up with," he says. "While it's not news that people can do that, to see people do it so easy and so quickly was almost startling to me."

Over and over again, Alexander's subjects told him that the internet had opened their eyes, dispelled their fears, given them new avenues for pleasure, and provided support as they figured out what they really wanted from sex.

(In the book, he confesses to reaching a point where he simply refuses to allow one more person to gush about the internet. "Isn't it possible," he muses, "that we're just bored?")

After touring the Adam & Eve toy factory in North Carolina, attending a fetish conference in Florida, watching a hardcore BDSM porn shoot in San Francisco, and taking in an all-kinks-welcome sex party in Seattle, Alexander concludes that while this explosion of sexual exploration is not hurting American culture, the culture that enables it may actually be hurting sex.

"I think we are living in ever more disconnected times without great senses of community, family, belonging," he says. "People go looking. Some turn to fundamentalist religious views. Some turn to phony tribalism -- I mean, really, white boys with Maori tribal tattoos? Come on.

"Turning to sex is at least as rational a response as religion. Maybe more so, because at least it is a connection with another human being. Sex is believable in a world which offers us very little to believe in anymore.

"But sex gets hurt when this response leads to a loss of subtlety, of romance and sex as an art form, a dance, a work of imagination."

And yet, by definition, we lock the investigator out of those subtle, romantic, imaginative spaces. The dance he speaks of may be too subtle for an observer to notice (especially amidst the sensory overload of a fetish ball or the extremely cerebral work of sex in virtual worlds). If you haven't experienced the subtleties, the art, the works of imagination that are particular to sex tech, can you learn to see them in others?

Alexander is skeptical about critics who suggest personal experience may be necessary to present a truly balanced chronicle of contemporary sexuality.

"It's called journalism," he says. "If I'm going to cover a war, I have to kill people?"

Via www.wired.com.

7 Common Mistakes Men Usually Make in Relationships

Love is blind! It is an ecstatic feeling. It is beyond everything – divine. At the same time, it is very complex just as human mind is. We have mixed emotions; we feel happy, we feel sad, we feel worried and we feel settled and easy too. But, in this stream of emotions we tend to make mistakes that can lead to losing our love. We tend to forget that love never dies a natural death. It dies of blindness and blunders. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. If you have lost your love you can Get your Ex girl friend back using the simple tips. This book will guide you on what you can do to get your love back in your life. It works best for the people who think that everything they do pushes her father. Bring her back and don’t repeat the mistakes you did earlier. Here are some common mistakes that we should avoid to have a long lasting and joyous relationship.

Pretending to meet her expectations? – Be yourself instead – The reason your girl friend is dating you, is that she liked you as you are. Don’t try to become someone she told she dreamt of, as her perfect date. Just be yourself and you will find her closer to you. Of course, everyone has fear of rejection and that is human nature. But, don’t play games just because you want her attention. Be real and genuine! Keep growing as an individual and she will stay interested in you.

Clinging to the past? - Leave the past where it belongs – If you have had a relationship in the past. Just dump it as you dumped your favorite jeans that tattered. Get over your ex completely before you get into a new relationship. Discussing and comparing your ex-girl friend with new one can be a real turn-off.

Keeping things to you? – Communicate – Relationships rest on how well you understand your mate. Share things with your girl friend and strengthen the bonding. This will make you more free and comfortable with each other. Sharing keeps love alive! If you have an argument, keep a mum for few minutes, but don’t sleep over your problems. Relax and then discuss it calmly, to bring them to an end.

Spending too much time with her? – Big No-No – You will be risking too much doing this. If you spend most of time with her, you will not be able to spare time for your friends. And, you might lose close friends. Moreover, you’ll be smothering her personal time. A little bit of space braces the bond of love and the urge to meet too!

Saying ‘I Love you’, soon and frequently? – Be generous in their usage - Don’t shower her with these three words more often. Let them work their magic once in a while. Women love to hear them, but an over dose might jade the spark. Also, don’t use these magical words early in your relationship. Love is all about correct timing. Revealing the suspense in the beginning would throw the audience out of the theatre. Build it up, let her wait and long for it.

She is not perfect? – She’ll never be – It’s not a person who is perfect, it is the relationship two people make that becomes perfect. Nobody is perfect in fact, sometimes we see the faults early, and others not until later. Friendship in a couple makes their relationship strong enough to endure. Don’t expect her to change, develop an understanding rather, so that the good outweighs the bad. Expectations make relationships nerve-racking and fragile!

You are an open book? – Keep some mystery – Don’t be readily available. Let her explore you, wonder about you. Monopolize her thoughts! Uncertainty and unpredictability keeps the spark in relationship. Sweet surprises have a touch of the unknown! Foster the ability to keep the mystery. Learn How to be Irresistible to Women. You can use the tips mentioned in this e-book, to master the art of seducing her.

Happy dating!

Via loverslovelife.com.

Sex – When Sex is Just Sex: It is what it is but how about the guys speak up!

A few days ago I wrote about The Justifying Zone, that slippery slope that women can find themselves on when they stick with a guy so that they can justify their emotional or sexual investment, even if they recognise that that the relationship is doomed. A couple of male commenters raised the point that sometimes a guy just wants sex, which of course made me want to revisit this subject.

Ladies, we like to see shades of grey, read between the lines, and see gold (or even platinum) where there is in fact copper, but sometimes sex, really is just that; SEX. It’s not the beginning of a grand love affair, it’s not an indicator of greater things to come, and it’s not a great idea to base a relationship solely off how good a guys strokes are…

The trouble is, are guys honest enough to say that sex is just sex?

Guys, we are not frickin’ mind readers. We don’t find out things by osmosis and there are many men out there that do not own a pair of brass balls to be upfront and honest about their intentions, or should I say, sexual intentions. Instead, because they don’t want to be perceived as a total bastard and of course they don’t actually want to endanger the possibility of actually getting laid, they bring on all the hearts, flowers, charm, and hints of more to come, only to have to backtrack and make a rapid disappearance afterwards.

This is all a double edged penis sword. Yes we should both be adult enough to screw like rabbits and walk away but we are humans. Casual sex is rarely just ‘casual’ and it’s only casual sex if BOTH parties know that they’re having casual sex in the first place!

As far as I’m concerned, it is just sex if:

One or both of you actually say it is

You meet and screw in the same night (one night stand)

The only thing that exists between you both irrespective of how long you have known each other is sex

Anything else is open to misinterpretation and it is alarming how many women will still see it as more even if it is one of the above situations.

“Yeah but we talk a lot” one woman said to me recently. Moaning, groaning, asking when you can meet up, and making small talk to facilitate you both having sex and appearing polite is NOT talking a lot!

Whilst I do think that we can be guilty of building sandcastles in the sky on occasion, I have to say here that much of the ambiguity that surrounds sex and women feeling the need to justify the fact that they slept with the guy by investing themselves further is caused by ambiguous, hard to read men who blow hot and cold and leave everything ‘literally’ wide open to interpretation. So guys, if it’s just sex, maybe you should start by saying it is, or avoid going for women who clearly want more than you’re actually able to give!

But…ladies, ladies, ladies, heed the signs. If it walks like duck, quacks like a duck, and flaps its pretty little wings like a duck, it’s a duck. Pause for a moment the next time you’re in this situation and strip away all of the rationalising, reasoning, and justifying, and ask yourself if you have anything left besides a walking, talking…penis.

My new ebook Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl is now available to buy as an instant download. Find out more.

Via baggagereclaim.co.uk.

No dating, thanks, just sex

Dating culture is dead - instead, young New Zealand women are regularly getting drunk and cruising around in packs looking for men to have sex with.



That's one of the findings of a TVNZ Sunday investigation into the sexual behaviour of New Zealand women. The programme makers did the story after Kiwi women last year topped the Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey as the world's most promiscuous.

They are reported to have an average of 20 sexual partners, double that of their Australian and British counterparts and almost three times the global average of seven.

TVNZ Sunday correspondent Janet McIntyre said there was anecdotal evidence from the five women on the show that the Durex survey findings were valid.

"There's a new kind of mating ritual sex is the point of entry into the relationship."

If the first-up sex wasn't any good women weren't prepared to waste their time progressing the relationship.

"There's no dating culture any more." In candid interviews about their sexual experiences some of the women who are all in their twenties felt empowered by having sex and wanted to celebrate and enjoy it.

McIntyre said all the women who had experienced one-night stands had been affected by alcohol, a term described by at least one expert in a report as "getting pissed and hooking up".

Men are also feeling the impact from the new sexual tactics being employed by women.

The Sunday Star-Times' Being a Bloke survey last year found that 29% of the 5000 men surveyed felt they had been pressured into having sex or had had sex unwillingly.
nz
stuff.co.nz.

15 things no man wants to hear... from a woman

1. Any stories about ex-boyfriends, even ones told against the poor blokes. If your ex was a violent, brainless, tattooed ex-con, this will only make us feel boring and unmanly. And scared.

2. The phrase 'I'd say it's bang-on average, if not slightly bigger'. Best to steer clear of the size issue. Like us talking about your weight, it can only lead to misunderstanding and hurt.

3. Obsessive accounts of your diet and exercise regime. Men like skinny women, true. But they dislike being exposed to the borderline eating disorders and pathological obsessiveness that produce them. And curvy and sane always beats mad and thin. Eventually.

4. The accusing phrase, 'What's wrong with the blue dress, then?' after we have said we like the red one.

5. Any details of your day at work. Although men can find the most basic things endlessly fascinating - the number of buttons on their shirts, farting - they will suddenly develop ADD when it comes to your professional life. Unless you are a porn actress. No, actually, even then...

6. Any information about things you thought about buying. We are perfectly happy to admire actual purchases, but yearning for those phantom shoes/dress/bag exasperates us.

7. Stories about other men patronising you. This will give us an irresistible urge to ruffle your hair and say in a kids-TV voice, 'Awww, did dey? Did dey do dat to oo?' I know, sometimes we're asking for trouble.

8. The word 'Fine' as a stand-alone sentence. The scariest syllable in the female vocabulary.

9. The sound of weeping. It destroys us.

10. Any details of strife you may be having with your female friends. The endless round of hurt and rapprochement that constitutes girls' friendships mystifies us. If she's that much trouble just delete her from your bloody mobile.

11. The phrase, 'Hang on, I'll just reply to this text before we order'. We want first claim on your attention, woman.

12. The phrase, 'Can you turn over, you're snoring'. Great, that's both of us awake.

13. The words 'Am I special? Am I?' Especially if you are drawing a circle around our nipple with your finger at the time.

14. Anyone else's name, in your sleep.

15. Your dreams. Unless we're in them. And in a good light, too. If not, save 'em for the shrink.

Via observer.guardian.co.uk.

Love, Dating and Marriage Still Goals for Older Americans

Ah, young love! It's written about, sung about, idealized. But what about old love? People now live longer and healthier and want to be happier. As Faiza Elmasry tells us, a growing number of people are falling in love and embarking on deep and fulfilling romantic relationships in the latter part of their lives.

More people find happiness in love as they get older and wiser

Writer Alison Leslie Gold was approaching 50 when her marriage ended in divorce. But a new chapter of her life began when she met the true love of her life, and married him. She has been living happily ever since.

To her surprise, she says, she found she wasn't alone. "I began to talk to people who had experiences with finding sex and love later in life. I interviewed nearly 30 or so and talked to many more," she says. "They are men and women between the ages of 43 and 97, (people of) various religions, various races and various nationalities."

In her book, writer Alison Leslie Gold tells 25 stories of people who find love later in life

Twenty-five of these stories ended up in Gold's new book: Love in the Second Act: True Stories of Romance, Midlife and Beyond. "They are stories of people who lived their lives one way in the first half, and in the second half live their lives in a different way," she says.

One woman, she says was a nun and a nurse until her late 30s, when she left the nunnery to get married, although she continued to be a nurse.

Other stories are about people who, after many years of focusing mainly on challenging careers, suddenly long for romantic relationships. Gold describes one woman, who worked for the United Nations in Belgium as a "workaholic." She says, "When she started hitting her mid 50s, she started feeling loneliness she never had before." The woman started dating and "ended up in a very nice relationship," the author says.

No matter how old people are, it is never too late to start a new relationship

Not all of Gold's love stories begin after midlife. She includes her own parents as an example of people who stay in the same relationship for many decades. "It's very challenging, rediscovering and rekindling a relationship someone has been in for a long time, to keep it fresh and alive," she says. "It takes work, but it seems to be worth it as my parents seem to say after 65 years."

But starting a brand new relationship later in life, Gold says, is no less challenging. Some re-enter the dating scene with bad memories of failed marriages. Others, she says, find it hard to forget lost loves. "A new beginning doesn't mean that it wipes out the past. I have a couple of cases of widows and widowers who will never replace the great love that died, but found another experience in a love that didn't duplicate or challenge the original one."

No matter how old people are, it is never too late to start a new relationship. That's what Marla Martenson discovered through her matchmaking service in Los Angeles, California. Martenson says one of her clients is 87. "He was heart broken because his wife of 50 years passed away. That was sad but he is dating somebody," she says. "There's always hope."

Martenson says her aunt, whose husband passed away 10 years ago when she was 50 found a man on line.

Matchmaker and author Marla Martenson says older people make better spouses

Martenson, who authored a book titled Excuse Me, Your Soul Mate is Waiting, says many people feel healthier and wiser as they get older. And they make better spouses. "It's true we do have a little drama when we get older, but then we also learn how to deal with it."

The matchmaker says she has been married to her second husband for five years. "I'm grateful I had all those bad experiences in the past because, now, I really know what I want and appreciate the husband I have and his qualities.

Though society seems to be more supportive of older lovers, writer Alison Leslie Gold says their children sometimes have a hard time accepting such relationships. She points to one coupled featured in her book. "She was 80 and he was in his 90s when they met. They were different religions. She had grown children and grandchildren. So did he. When they wanted to move back into his house, his children got very nervous."

She says young people are embarrassed by mature love, but Gold says, once they hit middle age they're more accepting. "It's not until you turn into that corner, into your late 30s or 40s, that you start to see around the corner and realize it's going to happen to you too."

Gold says life can be an exciting journey when it's shared with a loving companion. And the lucky people, she says, are those who find that companion before the journey comes to its end.

Via www.voanews.com.

Open Relationships vs. Monogamy

Is it just me, or are there some fundamental problems with strict monogamy? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not by any means saying we should bed every person we meet, or swap partners with all of our coupled friends - just that strict monogamy seems to do more damage than good.

Monogamy carries with it:

• an unhealthy obsession with having one person to meet the majority of our needs,




• a condemnation to a lack of sexual fulfillment if a person’s partner can’t perform adequately or loses their ability to do so,




• a lack of variety in sexual partners possibly resulting in lost sex drive over time, and




• it makes life after the first person passes away incredibly difficult for the remaining partner.

On a greater level, it condemns a possibly great new gene to extinction if the person that carries it couples with someone who has a terminal genetic issue, and it reduces the speed at which evolution occurs as there are less genetic combinations being formed... and that is just off the top of my head!

Given this pretty ugly overview of monogamy, the question then becomes why it is that just about everyone is doing it?

The first thought that comes to mind has to be tradition - but without logical reasoning, tradition does not mean much. We have many traditions due to the mental conditioning of people; an example is the stoning of people in some parts of the world who would dare insult "God" by working on the Sabbath.

The second thought has more to do with biology, together with length of infancy and development for our species. Although very few species mate for life, there are many species that mate for the duration in which their offspring are developing only, if even that. Since we take a while to "grow up" or develop, a child with more then one parent has a better chance of surviving to its own propagation than a child with only one. But the same argument is stronger for open relationships if we were to embrace each other more freely as a "herd".

The third thought is love and wanting to be together. Although love is truly a beautiful thing that most (if not all) of us could use more of, let’s discuss for a moment what type of love it is that we are experiencing in most relationships... Is it love of thy partner, or love of thy self?

Here’s an easy question to figure that one out. Let's say you are with someone who makes you happier than anyone else you’ve ever been with. After some time, you call the feeling towards them love. Some time later you meet someone of your gender that you know 100% for sure would make a better monogamous mate for your partner than you. You have the ability to introduce them, so that the person you love could find higher levels of happiness… or do you not hook them up so that you can continue getting what you want?

Since very few of the people I have polled have answered that they would sacrifice themselves, I would go so far as to say that true love is very different from this selfish concoction that most think it is!

With the exception of the very valid concern about STD transmission, the only real challenges to 'Open Relationships' are people's internal demons (greed and jealousy), and recreating the social infrastructure so that we are not so easily divided and conquered. It seems pretty simple to me that this is the way we should be going, but obviously it's a lot easier said then done; but man can move mountains, even if its one stone at a time.

Via sexinfo101.com

6 Signs You May Be Dating a Psycho

We’ve all got a teeny bit of psycho in us. But the line between going ga-ga for someone and becoming completely delusional about the boundaries of the relationship is a fine one.

If your newest fling’s behavior is starting to give you a serious case of the heebie-jeebies and you wonder where the glowing personality went that you met on the first date, you may have hitched up with a psycho.

From bunny-boiling to phone-tapping, incessant emails to branding-style scratched initials in your back, there’s a lot to be afraid of. Herewith, six signs your honey is half-baked. 

Communication Overload

There’s a difference between an eager beaver and a psychotic partner. An eager beaver calls you once and leaves all their phone numbers and email addresses so you can find them when you get the urge to reach out. A wacko calls all of your numbers and sends messages to all of your email addresses — all day and every day.

And the more time that passes between live interaction with a psycho, the more nutsy the notes and messages become. "Hey, it’s me" morphs into "I’ve called 12 times…where are you?" and finally "Pick up the phone or I swear I’m gonna boil the bunny." 

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

The fibs seem harmless at first; they may even be confused or couched as miscommunications.

But psycho partners lie incessantly in an attempt to control you. So what starts as lies about small things, like liver also being his favorite food (so that it looks like you two are so similar you must be soul mates) escalates into elaborate fabrications about him needing your emotional support because he’s just discovered that he has an identical twin brother whose cancerous liver will self-implode without a transfusion of your lover’s genetically matched blood.

Beware the contradictions, the overabundance of justifying details, the well-timed dramas.  

Stalk Talk

Don’t be fooled by the cliché image of a trenchcoat-clad dude running from telephone pole to telephone pole as he follows his victim home from the bar. Stalking girlfriends and boyfriends come in all shapes and sizes (and outfits).

And their techniques are many: from blatantly setting up tent and bonfire on your front stoop to see what time you get home, to "coincidentally" planting themselves in public places they know you’ll frequent — your neighborhood porn shop, your synchronized swimming class, the recycling room in the basement of your building.

Don’t discount the idea of your phone being tapped if it seems your lover knows secrets you’ve shared only with friends over the phone. If you’re starting to get that creepy "being watched" feeling and have actually found yourself wondering how the witness protection program works, you’ve probably made allies with a lunatic.

Scared Out Of Your Wits?

Some guys like it when a girl draws blood from his back with her French manicured nails. And some girls, when doing the doggy, like to be spanked till their buttocks burn pink.

But if the recipient of said "passionate" punishment isn’t the one getting off, this kind of thing falls under the category of branding. As in, "This is my man and I’ve created a hickey self-portrait on his neck to show you that he’s taken."
Mine, Mine, Mine!

We’ve all felt moments of jealousy in our lives. And that’s probably a good thing — a little bit of envy keeps us on our toes. But there’s jealousy, and then there’s jealousy of the paranoid variety. Imagine this: you can’t look at anyone of the opposite sex, let alone talk to them, without your partner freaking out.

And that’s just with strangers (read: I know you’re cheating on me with your doorman because you always say "hello"). Classic psycho jealousy behavior also pertains to, god forbid, ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends — even pals and family members. In other words, to a psycho, everyone is a threat.
Pay attention to ME

A psycho needs constant attention, and if that need isn’t met, all hell breaks loose. Does your girlfriend fall to the ground in a pretend faint so that you have to stay home and take care of her rather than hit the pub with your friends on a BNO?

Does your boyfriend hold your hand or perform other PDAs (public displays of affection) only when other males are around? You see, it’s all about control and having power over you and the relationship. Psychos want to know everything (snooping is classic behavior and these dating duds seem to have eyes on the backs of their heads), and many may assume that you’re in a committed relationship just because you made it through a first date.
Caveat

Of course we jest. In real life, stalking, obsessive phone calling and other possessive behavior is not cool. And not at all funny. If you suspect you are being stalked or are otherwise being harassed by a former or current partner, don’t hesitate to call or visit your local police. And if you are facing an emergency, dial 911.

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Via askdanandjennifer.com.