Is Menopause Causing Her Libido Love Making Problem?

Hi anyone who's reading, I've been married for 23 years now and we have one child.
About eight years ago my wife had an affair which didn't last all that long and it got resolved in the end.
We both put it down to the old mid life crisis stuff and carried on. After that however she became increasingly indifferent
sexually. I tried talking about it and asked if was me that she had a problem with, she said it wasn't but over the next
two years things slowly tappered off more and more. I've continued to ask from time to time how she feels about it all
and I don't really get much of an answer. She says she is not unhapppy, doesn't want anyone else but just doesn't have the
interest anymore for making love. It's has now been six years since we have actually made love. She says it is more than likely that it is

menopause that is causing it. I guess I've pretty much given up on asking anymore as it seems to get her upset. Other than
that we are actually really happy together, we always were good friends. The thing is that now I am starting to think about
other women which is something I hadn't done up till now. I haven't been with another woman since we were married and just
thinking about it makes me feel as guilty as hell, almost as if I actually had done so. I guess I just can't see any way
out of this, I can't and won't force her by way of blackmail or anything like that. I guess I'm just tired of feeling like
this. Six years is a long time to wait. I don't want to be unfaithful but I don't want the rest of my life to be like this
either.

Follow Up Comments:

Reply by: Richard



Your post is so very sad and concerning. I must commend you highly for your willingness to forgive and forget your wife's unfaithfullness.

"She says it is more than likely that it is menopause that is causing it." I seriously doubt that very much. Menopause will cause some hormonal changes, but I find it difficult to believe to the extreme that you describe.

Fist, I would highly recommend that she see her GYN and have her


testosterone level tested and checked. A low testosterone level will diminish libido (sex drive). If her testosterone is low, then her doctor can prescribe medication to increase the testosterone level. If her testosterone level is normal, then there are other factors that need to be looked into.

STRESS (mental, physical, emotional) is one big killer of libido, be it male or female.

I would highly recomend that BOTH of you seek the advice and counsel of a



marriage counselor. I REALLY DO. The counselor will not solve your problems, but will help to guide you to a solution. No one session is not adequate, it will take a number of sessions over a period of 2-3 months. By the way, a number of health policies do cover marriage counseling. If your wife will not go with you to a marraige counselor, then I suggest that you seek the advice and counsel of a counselor by yourself. You will need to determine what is best for you and the rest of your life.

I cannot imagine not having any lovin' for a few months, let alone six years. I can understand your feelings and temptation to be "unfaithful". Please, at this time don't. Wait until your wife has had her testosterone level checked, and you have gone through counseling. If in the end there is no change, then you will have to make a decision regarding your marriage. If you do decide on a divorce, then wait until it is final BEFORE you seek out another woman. Life can become VERY nasty when cheating is involved.

Reply by: swampy


Thanks for that, we had a talk today and going through the counciling bit is a no go I'm afraid. The thing is though my future is here, apart from sexually we couldn't be closer. We both have our interests and we share and support each other on them. I firmly believe it is not a case of lack of love or any form of drifting apart. We are as close mentally as we were when we first were married, it is simply the physical side of things that has changed, and that really only since the affair. I have blamed myself so many times over it in the past but do not hold any grudge. It was as they say only just one of those things. Howevr it seems to have been the trigger for what has happened since. I think that is one of the reasons she doesn't want to talk to others about this problem as she did get very hurt at the time. I really don't want to rake over those coals again, not because it in any way upsets me but because it seems to upset her. Every so often she will say sorry for what happened and I assure her it's ok, but then it goes back to the status quo. I guess I just want to remember what it is like to hold someone again. Her and my son are the most important things in my life, always have been, and as far as I can see always will be. I definately believe she feels the same but that wall just doesn't seem to go away. As two people go we couldn't be closer, as lovers we couldn't be further apart. I don't want to do anything that will break that bond, but I feel I don't want to wait any more. Maybe it's best to let sleeping dogs lie. Thank you for your reply , it's been a help just to be able to say this to someone else. I wish ther was some kind of female viagra that would help.

Via mens-sexual-health.org

11 reasons why girlfriend is better than computer

This is not Dating Agencys or Dating Match advertisment. I just lately read a funny post about why it is better to have computer than girlfriend. Well, so the blog is not fully nerd-geek type let`s hit the other side! I choosen number 11 because theres always 10 reasons. Let`s be original!

1. You can`t make computer naked. And even if You can, it surely won`t turn You on sexually.

2. Computer won`t make You dinner and won`t bring You beer.

3. You don`t need to wear glasses to look at the girlfriend and have any use of her.

4. If there is no electricity - girlfriend still works.

5. You can pure Whiskey on her and then lick it. With computer it might be problematic.




6. If You go with girlfriend to cinema and pay more attention to her than the movie nobodys gonna be saying that something is wrong with You.

7. If You speak about girl all the time – You are lame. Still less lame than the ones speaking 24/7 about computers.

8. If You cheat on Your computer with another one – there is no adrenaline or feeling of anything special. If You do that to girlfriend – this is when fun part starts.



9. You have to upgrade computer from time to time and pay money for that. Girls You change for free.


10. Computer can`t call other computers to come around and have fun in bed.

11. Computer can memorize too much stuff that You rather want to be forgotten.

Via glowicki.pl

Nicholson Says He's Looking for Love

NEW YORK — Jack Nicholson, the legendary ladies' man, says he'd like to fall in love again.

"I never minded being a fool for love," the 70-year-old Oscar winner tells AARP The Magazine. "It's nice to have a place to be foolish. Ask any old friend of mine, they'll say, `Jack's pretty smart, but in this area the man is beyond the pale. Don't ask him anything about love. Or if you ask him, don't listen to him.'"

Actor Jack Nicholson dances with his Cecil B. DeMille Award at the 56th annual Golden Globes Awards in Beverly Hills, Calif., Jan. 24, 1999. The Globe party -- which lets TV viewers share in the anything-goes celebration of Hollywood's elite on the long buildup to the more dry and dignified Academy Awards -- is gone this year, canceled because of a strike by screenwriters. (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill, File)

Nicholson says getting older has changed the way he woos women.

"I can't hit on a girl in public like I used to," he says. "I never thought words like `undignified' would come into my own reflections on myself, but I can't do it anymore."

Nicholson, whose past flames include Anjelica Huston and Lara Flynn Boyle, explains: "I feel uncomfortable. I don't think anybody cares what I do in these areas, but it feels a little bit off to me."

He says he'd date a woman close to his age — or younger.

"In fact, every year I like to cover a very broad spectrum," he says. "But you know? I've been single for quite a long time. I've been invested in my teenage children" with ex-girlfriend Rebecca Broussard. (He was married to Sandra Knight in the 1960s.)

Nicholson says nearly all his contemporaries tell him they want "that one last big romance."

"I don't do a lot of original screenwriting anymore, but if I were, I'd find a way to make this the dramatic narrative of a movie, because it's one of those silent yearnings of my own age group," he says.

Nicholson co-stars with Morgan Freeman in "The Bucket List," about two terminally ill patients on a final fling.

He's received 12 Oscar nominations, winning for "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," "Terms of Endearment" and "As Good as it Gets."

Russian couple reunited after 60 years apart

By Will Stewart in Moscow and Gethin Chamberlain

Last Updated: 2:47am GMT 13/01/2008

When Anna Kozlov caught sight of the elderly man clambering out of a car in her home village of Borovlyanka in Siberia, she stopped dead in her tracks, convinced her eyes were playing tricks.

There, in front of her, was Boris, the man she had fallen in love with and married 60 years earlier. The last time she had seen him was three days after their wedding, when she kissed him goodbye and sent him off to rejoin his Red Army unit.

Anna Kozlov and her husband Boris were reunited after 60 years apart

By the time he returned, Anna was gone, consigned by Stalin’s purges to internal exile in Siberia with the rest of her family as an enemy of the people. They left no forwarding address.

Frantic, Boris tried everything he could to find his young bride, but it was no good. She was gone.

Now, more than half a century later, they were reunited, an extraordinary coincidence leading them both to return to their home village on the very same day.

“I thought my eyes were playing games with me,” Anna said. “I saw this familiar looking man approaching me, his eyes gazing at me. My heart jumped. I knew it was him. I was crying with joy.”

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Now 80 years old, Boris had returned to visit his parents’ grave. As he stepped out of the car, he looked up to see Anna standing by her old house, where they had lived for the few days after the wedding.

“I ran up to her and said: 'My darling, I’ve been waiting for you for so long. My wife, my life...’”

They stayed up all night, talking about everything that had happened to them and the cruel circumstances that tore them apart. They met when he was secretary of the Young Communists and had to make a speech in the village.

Afterwards, she was standing there in a circle of friends, but he had eyes only for her. Her father had been purged by Stalin before the war for refusing to work in a collective farm, but Boris did not care. She was too beautiful for words. “I loved her and would always defend her,” he recalled.

So the romance blossomed. When he came home from the front, she was always there, waiting. In 1946, they married. It was a hasty wedding; there was no time for anything else and they could not afford anything grand in those hard years after the war.

Three days later, he had to return to his unit. “We kissed goodbye - but I never expected we wouldn’t see each other for more than half a century,” Anna said.

A little while later, the state caught up with her. Like her father, she was branded an enemy of the people and forced with the rest of her family into internal exile in Siberia.

“I threatened to commit suicide rather than go because I couldn’t live without him,” she said, “but in the end I was forced to go. It was the most miserable time of my life.”

On his return, Boris was distraught. “She was always waiting for me when I came home, but this time there was no sign of her,” he said. “Nobody knew where they were, or what had happened to Anna. That’s how we lost any track of each other”.

In their new village, Anna’s mother resolved that the girl should remarry. She told her that Boris had remarried. “She said he had forgotten about me - that’s why no letters came.

“I didn’t believe it and I longed for him so much. But one day I got back home from work at a timber plant and my mum had burned all his earlier letters, poems and pictures - including our wedding photographs.

“She told me this other man was coming to meet me - and that I should go out with him, and if I was lucky, he’d marry me. I burst into tears and rushed into the yard. The world turned black for me. I wanted to die and I got a clothes line and went into the hayloft intending to hang myself.

“My mother came in and slapped me in the face and told me not to be so stupid. She persuaded me to go out with this man, Nefed, and gradually he and my mother persuaded me that this was where my future lay.”

Boris, too, finally gave in and re-married. He became a writer, penning a book dedicated to the woman he’d married as a young soldier but only ever spent three nights with.

In time, their respective spouses died. With the demise of the Soviet Union, Anna was once more able to travel home. Then came the chance reunion. “I felt the same when we met last year,” Boris said. “I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Yes I had loved other women when we were separated. But she was the true love of my life.”

He suggested they marry again. Anna resisted, but says he talked her round. “What’s the point, I said, we can just live together they rest of our lives? But he insisted. I never thought I’d be a bride at my age but it was my happiest wedding.

“Since we found each other again, I swear we haven’t had a single quarrel. We’ve been parted for so long and who knows how much is left for us, so we just don’t want to lose time on arguing.”

Via telegraph.co.uk

Give Online Dating A Try

Sometimes trying to find the right guy to date is hard. You’re not sure where to go to look for them and than when you do find one that you are interested in they’re either married or gay. Sure this may not happen to all women – but there are some of us out there who are about ready to give up. If you’re young than you don’t have to worry you have years ahead of you. But for those who have been searching for awhile or who have just gotten out of a divorce and are looking to find love again ….we understand just how hard it can be for you and we have two words that may solve your problems – online dating.

I know that there are many skeptics out there who frown at this sound of these words – but before you criticize listen to what we have to say. Online dating isn’t always a bad thing. I know that most find it unromantic and a bit dangerous – but when done right things can happen the way we want them to. I have known several happy couples who have met over the internet.

Think long and hard before you decide to do this and make sure that you are comfortable with your decision. If you do decide to go through with it than keep an open mind and remember that it doesn’t always work so don’t get discouraged and be patient.

Safety is the number rule to any type of dating. This means that you need to go through a legitimate site and one that looks decent. Some online dating sites will cater to anyone and will have people who are more looking for a ‘good time’ (if you catch our drift) than for long term relationships. One of the best online sites is eHarmony. I’m sure that you have seen the commercials for them.

At this site you can display a decent picture of yourself and give a brief bio of yourself and what type of person you are. Than you can sit back and wait for people to find you or you can go out and find some for yourself. You do have the option of blocking someone if you are not interested.

Through sites like this you have the opportunity to get to know someone without ever having to go on a real date. If you do get attached and decide to meet make sure that you go with a friend and in a public and well known area. Just because it is a legitimate site doesn’t mean that things can’t happen still. However, we have never heard of any problems with people like this from this site.

Most of all be patient! Don’t give up on dating and finding men. The right person is out there even if he isn’t in the same city. You may find that your relationship is more exciting after you have met this way. And the first meeting is even better.

Via wemfo.com

41 ways to melt a women's heart

There are many things that make a woman weak at the knees. Now find out how to truly melt her heart...

1. Ask her to dance.

2. On windy days, brush wayward strands of hair from her eyes and mouth.

3. When she’s coming down the street, across the room, or up the stairs to meet you, walk towards her as soon as you see her.

4. Kiss her between her shoulder blades when she turns her back to you to go to sleep.

5. Put your arm around her when you introduce her to your friends and family.

6. Grasp her hand when a scantily dressed, beautiful woman walks by.

7. Call her when you’re feeling sad.

8. Kiss her eyelids.

9. Ask to see a picture of her when she was a child.

10. Wash her from head to toe in the shower.

11. If she’s crying on the phone, go over to her place. Immediately.

12. Stand her naked on a sturdy chair and lick between her legs.

13. Occasionally call her by her first and middle names.

14. Buy her your favourite rock album of all time on vinyl.

15. Order coffee for her, remembering exactly how she likes it.

16. Undress her and put her to bed when she falls asleep in the car.

17. Mention your upcoming anniversary before she does.

18. Send her something in the mail. Anything.

19. When she’s feeling insecure, stare into her eyes and tell her there is no-one in the world who could be as right for you as she is.

20. Call her just before you get on the plane.

21. Pick her clothes up off the floor.

22. Try desperately to make her laugh when she’s feeling down.

23. Take her to see your favourite sport live. Pay more attention to her than to the game.

24. Touch her arm when you leave the table to go to the bathroom. Touch her again when you come back.

25. Shave just before you see her. She’ll notice.

26. Hug her when she gets jealous. Hug her hard.

27. Worship her breasts.

28. Give her jewellery.

29. Hand her two towels when she gets out of the shower. (The second one is for her hair.)

30. Ask her specific questions about her work.

31. Keep her favourite cereal on hand.

32. In the middle of a conversation, tell her you love her.

33. Send her very expensive flowers when you screw up.

34. Take her to a cabin with a fireplace. Build her a fire.

35. Moan her name when she goes down on you.

36. Read her a story when it’s her turn to drive during a long road trip.

37. Offer to fix something at her place that you realise is broken.

38. Notice when she’s wearing something new.

39. Make love to her standing up, against a wall.

40. Kiss her hand in front of your most die-hard bachelor buddies.

41. If she’s too stressed to want sex...
a. Run a bath for her.
b. Give her a full-body massage.
c. Ask if she wants to wrestle.

Via women24.com.