Love, Dating and Marriage Still Goals for Older Americans

Ah, young love! It's written about, sung about, idealized. But what about old love? People now live longer and healthier and want to be happier. As Faiza Elmasry tells us, a growing number of people are falling in love and embarking on deep and fulfilling romantic relationships in the latter part of their lives.

More people find happiness in love as they get older and wiser

Writer Alison Leslie Gold was approaching 50 when her marriage ended in divorce. But a new chapter of her life began when she met the true love of her life, and married him. She has been living happily ever since.

To her surprise, she says, she found she wasn't alone. "I began to talk to people who had experiences with finding sex and love later in life. I interviewed nearly 30 or so and talked to many more," she says. "They are men and women between the ages of 43 and 97, (people of) various religions, various races and various nationalities."

In her book, writer Alison Leslie Gold tells 25 stories of people who find love later in life

Twenty-five of these stories ended up in Gold's new book: Love in the Second Act: True Stories of Romance, Midlife and Beyond. "They are stories of people who lived their lives one way in the first half, and in the second half live their lives in a different way," she says.

One woman, she says was a nun and a nurse until her late 30s, when she left the nunnery to get married, although she continued to be a nurse.

Other stories are about people who, after many years of focusing mainly on challenging careers, suddenly long for romantic relationships. Gold describes one woman, who worked for the United Nations in Belgium as a "workaholic." She says, "When she started hitting her mid 50s, she started feeling loneliness she never had before." The woman started dating and "ended up in a very nice relationship," the author says.

No matter how old people are, it is never too late to start a new relationship

Not all of Gold's love stories begin after midlife. She includes her own parents as an example of people who stay in the same relationship for many decades. "It's very challenging, rediscovering and rekindling a relationship someone has been in for a long time, to keep it fresh and alive," she says. "It takes work, but it seems to be worth it as my parents seem to say after 65 years."

But starting a brand new relationship later in life, Gold says, is no less challenging. Some re-enter the dating scene with bad memories of failed marriages. Others, she says, find it hard to forget lost loves. "A new beginning doesn't mean that it wipes out the past. I have a couple of cases of widows and widowers who will never replace the great love that died, but found another experience in a love that didn't duplicate or challenge the original one."

No matter how old people are, it is never too late to start a new relationship. That's what Marla Martenson discovered through her matchmaking service in Los Angeles, California. Martenson says one of her clients is 87. "He was heart broken because his wife of 50 years passed away. That was sad but he is dating somebody," she says. "There's always hope."

Martenson says her aunt, whose husband passed away 10 years ago when she was 50 found a man on line.

Matchmaker and author Marla Martenson says older people make better spouses

Martenson, who authored a book titled Excuse Me, Your Soul Mate is Waiting, says many people feel healthier and wiser as they get older. And they make better spouses. "It's true we do have a little drama when we get older, but then we also learn how to deal with it."

The matchmaker says she has been married to her second husband for five years. "I'm grateful I had all those bad experiences in the past because, now, I really know what I want and appreciate the husband I have and his qualities.

Though society seems to be more supportive of older lovers, writer Alison Leslie Gold says their children sometimes have a hard time accepting such relationships. She points to one coupled featured in her book. "She was 80 and he was in his 90s when they met. They were different religions. She had grown children and grandchildren. So did he. When they wanted to move back into his house, his children got very nervous."

She says young people are embarrassed by mature love, but Gold says, once they hit middle age they're more accepting. "It's not until you turn into that corner, into your late 30s or 40s, that you start to see around the corner and realize it's going to happen to you too."

Gold says life can be an exciting journey when it's shared with a loving companion. And the lucky people, she says, are those who find that companion before the journey comes to its end.

Via www.voanews.com.

Open Relationships vs. Monogamy

Is it just me, or are there some fundamental problems with strict monogamy? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not by any means saying we should bed every person we meet, or swap partners with all of our coupled friends - just that strict monogamy seems to do more damage than good.

Monogamy carries with it:

• an unhealthy obsession with having one person to meet the majority of our needs,




• a condemnation to a lack of sexual fulfillment if a person’s partner can’t perform adequately or loses their ability to do so,




• a lack of variety in sexual partners possibly resulting in lost sex drive over time, and




• it makes life after the first person passes away incredibly difficult for the remaining partner.

On a greater level, it condemns a possibly great new gene to extinction if the person that carries it couples with someone who has a terminal genetic issue, and it reduces the speed at which evolution occurs as there are less genetic combinations being formed... and that is just off the top of my head!

Given this pretty ugly overview of monogamy, the question then becomes why it is that just about everyone is doing it?

The first thought that comes to mind has to be tradition - but without logical reasoning, tradition does not mean much. We have many traditions due to the mental conditioning of people; an example is the stoning of people in some parts of the world who would dare insult "God" by working on the Sabbath.

The second thought has more to do with biology, together with length of infancy and development for our species. Although very few species mate for life, there are many species that mate for the duration in which their offspring are developing only, if even that. Since we take a while to "grow up" or develop, a child with more then one parent has a better chance of surviving to its own propagation than a child with only one. But the same argument is stronger for open relationships if we were to embrace each other more freely as a "herd".

The third thought is love and wanting to be together. Although love is truly a beautiful thing that most (if not all) of us could use more of, let’s discuss for a moment what type of love it is that we are experiencing in most relationships... Is it love of thy partner, or love of thy self?

Here’s an easy question to figure that one out. Let's say you are with someone who makes you happier than anyone else you’ve ever been with. After some time, you call the feeling towards them love. Some time later you meet someone of your gender that you know 100% for sure would make a better monogamous mate for your partner than you. You have the ability to introduce them, so that the person you love could find higher levels of happiness… or do you not hook them up so that you can continue getting what you want?

Since very few of the people I have polled have answered that they would sacrifice themselves, I would go so far as to say that true love is very different from this selfish concoction that most think it is!

With the exception of the very valid concern about STD transmission, the only real challenges to 'Open Relationships' are people's internal demons (greed and jealousy), and recreating the social infrastructure so that we are not so easily divided and conquered. It seems pretty simple to me that this is the way we should be going, but obviously it's a lot easier said then done; but man can move mountains, even if its one stone at a time.

Via sexinfo101.com

6 Signs You May Be Dating a Psycho

We’ve all got a teeny bit of psycho in us. But the line between going ga-ga for someone and becoming completely delusional about the boundaries of the relationship is a fine one.

If your newest fling’s behavior is starting to give you a serious case of the heebie-jeebies and you wonder where the glowing personality went that you met on the first date, you may have hitched up with a psycho.

From bunny-boiling to phone-tapping, incessant emails to branding-style scratched initials in your back, there’s a lot to be afraid of. Herewith, six signs your honey is half-baked. 

Communication Overload

There’s a difference between an eager beaver and a psychotic partner. An eager beaver calls you once and leaves all their phone numbers and email addresses so you can find them when you get the urge to reach out. A wacko calls all of your numbers and sends messages to all of your email addresses — all day and every day.

And the more time that passes between live interaction with a psycho, the more nutsy the notes and messages become. "Hey, it’s me" morphs into "I’ve called 12 times…where are you?" and finally "Pick up the phone or I swear I’m gonna boil the bunny." 

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

The fibs seem harmless at first; they may even be confused or couched as miscommunications.

But psycho partners lie incessantly in an attempt to control you. So what starts as lies about small things, like liver also being his favorite food (so that it looks like you two are so similar you must be soul mates) escalates into elaborate fabrications about him needing your emotional support because he’s just discovered that he has an identical twin brother whose cancerous liver will self-implode without a transfusion of your lover’s genetically matched blood.

Beware the contradictions, the overabundance of justifying details, the well-timed dramas.  

Stalk Talk

Don’t be fooled by the cliché image of a trenchcoat-clad dude running from telephone pole to telephone pole as he follows his victim home from the bar. Stalking girlfriends and boyfriends come in all shapes and sizes (and outfits).

And their techniques are many: from blatantly setting up tent and bonfire on your front stoop to see what time you get home, to "coincidentally" planting themselves in public places they know you’ll frequent — your neighborhood porn shop, your synchronized swimming class, the recycling room in the basement of your building.

Don’t discount the idea of your phone being tapped if it seems your lover knows secrets you’ve shared only with friends over the phone. If you’re starting to get that creepy "being watched" feeling and have actually found yourself wondering how the witness protection program works, you’ve probably made allies with a lunatic.

Scared Out Of Your Wits?

Some guys like it when a girl draws blood from his back with her French manicured nails. And some girls, when doing the doggy, like to be spanked till their buttocks burn pink.

But if the recipient of said "passionate" punishment isn’t the one getting off, this kind of thing falls under the category of branding. As in, "This is my man and I’ve created a hickey self-portrait on his neck to show you that he’s taken."
Mine, Mine, Mine!

We’ve all felt moments of jealousy in our lives. And that’s probably a good thing — a little bit of envy keeps us on our toes. But there’s jealousy, and then there’s jealousy of the paranoid variety. Imagine this: you can’t look at anyone of the opposite sex, let alone talk to them, without your partner freaking out.

And that’s just with strangers (read: I know you’re cheating on me with your doorman because you always say "hello"). Classic psycho jealousy behavior also pertains to, god forbid, ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends — even pals and family members. In other words, to a psycho, everyone is a threat.
Pay attention to ME

A psycho needs constant attention, and if that need isn’t met, all hell breaks loose. Does your girlfriend fall to the ground in a pretend faint so that you have to stay home and take care of her rather than hit the pub with your friends on a BNO?

Does your boyfriend hold your hand or perform other PDAs (public displays of affection) only when other males are around? You see, it’s all about control and having power over you and the relationship. Psychos want to know everything (snooping is classic behavior and these dating duds seem to have eyes on the backs of their heads), and many may assume that you’re in a committed relationship just because you made it through a first date.
Caveat

Of course we jest. In real life, stalking, obsessive phone calling and other possessive behavior is not cool. And not at all funny. If you suspect you are being stalked or are otherwise being harassed by a former or current partner, don’t hesitate to call or visit your local police. And if you are facing an emergency, dial 911.

Brought to you by Click By Lavalife. Click here to meet sexy singles near you at Lavalife, our recommended online dating & personals website.

Via askdanandjennifer.com.

How To Avoid The Top 5 Mistakes Single Guys Make In Clubs

Have you ever gone to a club, bought a bunch of overpriced drinks, then stood around only talking to your friends while thinking "Why did I come here?"

I remember a few years ago, before I learned any dating tips, I would leave bars or clubs with this frustrated feeling inside me. 

I thought, "I just don’t get it, clubs are supposed to be a place to have fun and meet women.  Where did I go wrong?"

I believe there are five major mistakes that guys make consistently at clubs for this to happen, I know I’ve made them.  I also believe that if guys just stopped doing these five things, their success would improve automatically.

1. Only talking to people you know. 

This first one is fairly obvious, yet many guys do it all the time.  I remember standing there, looking around the club for beautiful women.  When I’d find one, I‘d think to myself “Aha! There’s a beautiful woman” and then I would just keep talking to my friends. 

If you keep talking to the same people, you’re going to get the same results.  You don’t necessarily need to go talk to every beautiful woman you see, you can just start with the person standing next to you. 

Just turn your body a little bit so you lean in from the side and start chatting.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a couple, a group of guys, or some cute women.  What does matter is that you are improving your conversational skills within the club. 

If you’re not sure what to say, look around at your environment for some ideas.  Is there a band or any dancers?  Is anyone doing anything unusual?  Just make a witty comment about the how the opposite of something is true.

For example, if a guy next to me starts taking a whole bunch of tequila shots, I could turn to him and his friends and say “I guess we all know who the designated driver is.”  It’s good to say it in a slightly serious tone and without smiling, so you build a little tension. 

It doesn’t matter how funny it is, it’s just a way to engage others.  Do this to everyone who seems open and you will start having some fun times meeting new people.

2. Caring what others think.

So when you start talking to all different types of people in the club, you’re probably going to meet some friendly people and some not so friendly people (in my experience there are many more friendly people).

What happens if they don’t respond well to you, ignore you, or act rude?

Just move on.  It’s not your job to fix other people; you don’t have control over them.  The only thing you have control of is your own reaction.  You can choose to care about their opinion or to not care about it.

The better you get at talking to more people, the more you will learn that it’s not about you.  Some people go to the club to let go of all their frustrations from the week and combine that with alcohol and you can get all kinds of crazy emotions in the mix.

So if something isn’t working out, just realize it’s their issue and move on.

3. Ignoring the club employees. 

Have you ever gone to a party where you knew everyone and as soon as you entered, they were all really excited to see you and gave you high fives and hugs?

How good did that feel?  Well, you can get the same reaction when you enter a club.

It’s not hard, just choose a club that you go to often and make friends with all the employees.  Introduce yourself and remember their names and talk to them like a friend. 

Ask the bouncer how his night is going, give the bartenders a big first tip, make friends with the bathroom attendant or tease the cocktail waitress. 

Remember, these people are working while you are having fun.  See if you can share some of that fun with them.  Before you know it, when you come to the club, you’ll feel right at home. You’ll be in a better mood, have more fun, and meet more people. 

This tip alone is one of the easiest ways to increase your confidence and status in a club.

4.  Waiting to get drunk before talking to women.

This is probably the biggest mistake that guys make every night, at every club, everywhere.  The best time to talk to women is actually right when the night begins.  Why?  When it’s still early, women are just arriving usually in a good mood, no one’s approached them yet; it’s like a blank slate.  

It’s your best chance to make what I call a little connection.  This is where you just make one fun or witty comment to someone and then get back to your friends. 

If it turns into a conversation then go with it, but it’s mainly a way to create a little connection of familiarity between you and someone you don’t know.

What most guys do, is they stare at the women they want to talk to all night until they’ve had enough drinks, then go over and try to force a full on conversation.  It’s usually not pretty.  

Instead, it’s a lot easier to make a bunch of little connections with women, then sit back and watch.  The women that are interested in you will come stand near you or they will look at you and smile when they walk by. 

Even if they don’t, it will be a lot easier to wave them over and start a conversation with them if you’ve already talked before. 

5.  Putting too much pressure on yourself to meet women. 

The last one is the most important.  Remember why you are there in the first place: 

To have a good time. 

Have patience with yourself and give yourself permission to relax.  Some guys get too attached to the outcome with women and even relate what happens to their own self-worth. 

You know yourself better than anyone else.

Clubs are a place where almost everyone has a very strong social mask up and it can be hard to reach the real person underneath.  So if things don’t go as planned, don’t beat yourself up about it.  Just leave the unwanted feelings at the club and enjoy what you do have. 

When you see every interaction within the club as amusing or an opportunity to "play with others", you’ll create a magnetic vibe and others will naturally be pulled in towards you.

Via askdanandjennifer.com.

Your Mom Lied: 5 Common Body Myths Debunked

By
Trevor Moorehouse

Part of growing up is realizing almost everything your mom said was wrong. This is especially true when it comes to the human body (how many of you grew up with the "masturbation will make hair grow on your palms" thing?) where, as you'll see, mom often failed to do her research.

"If you shave, your facial hair will grow back thicker!"

The Lie:

Fellas, do you remember when you first started getting those wispy specks of hair on your chin? They were patchy and thin, but dammit you loved them, and you knew that it was merely a matter of months before you looked like those guys from ZZ Top. Do you remember what your mom told you? "If you shave your beard/moustache/muttonchops off it will grow back thicker and look much nicer." So you continued shaving it until, sure enough, five years later you had a perfectly serviceable moustache.

The Truth:

Actually, the only reason you ever managed to grow those whiskers was simply time. Renowned (read: gets the most tail) dermatologist Dr. Jerri Hoskyn M.D., says here that, "Shaving is just a method of cutting the hair at the skin surface and has no effect on the part of the hair ... where growth and pigmentation occur." Who's to argue with a man who had to go through eight years of medical school to cure pimples?

So why do moms perpetuate this one? Most likely out of the embarrassment most mothers of pubescent boys feel. It seems you didn't have the good fortune to hit the ground running with puberty like we Cracked staffers did, and it took you a few years to start looking and sounding like Powers Boothe. Consequently you had a fuzzy neck beard, and your parents didn't want to be seen in public with you until you shaved it.

So instead of telling you straight up that you were a repulsive pock-marked abomination and having to hear you whine in your broken girly voice, they simply lied and told you shearing hair makes it stronger and thicker, knowing you would do it--and keep doing it--in a futile attempt look like Grizzly Adams.

"You can't have anymore sugar, you'll be bouncing off the walls!"

The Lie:

All you wanted was another scoop of pure cane sugar in your cherry Kool-Aid, and your mom refused. What the hell! Of course her reasoning is "No, if you have anymore sugar you'll be bouncing off the walls." While we now know she was just telling us she didn't want us getting all hyperactive, you know, running around the house, screaming "child abuse" out of the windows at passers-by, setting the guinea pig on fire and tying our siblings to chairs, it was pretty much the worst thing she could have told us. Instantly our little minds were suddenly filled with visions of being able to defy gravity and ricochet about the house without ever having to touch the floors. In short, your mom told you that you could be fucking Spider-Man if you had more sugar, so you ate the entire bag of sugar.

The Truth:

Unfortunately after eating a bag of sugar you didn't become Spider-Man. In fact, the only superhero you became that day was Vomit-His-Stomach-And-Hallucinate-Man. Hell, it didn't even make you hyper.

Your mom was wrong on two counts: first off, gravity is unaffected by sugar. Secondly, hyperactivity is unaffected by sugar. Or at least, that's what dashing professor of neonatology and general pediatrics at UAMS Medical center, Dr. Bryan Burk says here. "No evidence exists that feeding children a high-sugar diet will induce hyperactivity, despite the common belief that it does."

It seems that you need to consume something more along the lines of caffeine, dopamine or crack to achieve any hyperactivity. In fact for some children, sugar may very well have an opiate affect on their brain. In case you didn't know, morphine and heroin are opiates, so when your mom gave you sugar, it may have been like shooting you up with tiny little amounts of smack, and smack addicts are not known as the most active of people.

Of course, the part about sugar destroying your teeth and turning you into a fatass are both still true, so in the end mom was right.

"Turn on a light! Reading in the dark will ruin your eyes"

The Lie:

Who doesn't remember being nine, sitting in the warming glow of the artificial fire, reading The Brothers Karamazov,and having their mom force them to turn on a lamp to spare their eyes? We all grumbled and groaned and switched on the lights and squinted as the glare from the pages blinded our eyes, and later Uncle Paul would take us to the ice cream shop and let us stick our fingers in the blender. Who can forget that? That did happen to everyone, right?

The Truth:

It seems that, not only did your mom lie about your Uncle Paul's stay in "con college," she also lied to you about your eyes as well. Of course we all know this has become a non-issue since we have it on good faith that only doctors, fat people and nerds read anything anymore.

The truth is, due to the amazing resilience of the human eye, reading in dim light doesn't hurt our eyes. Dr. Katrina Schmidt, who is both a doctor and a woman, says here that, "Reading in dim light is not in itself going to ruin your eyes."

However she does note that our eyes work a little harder in dim light, so if we keep moving the book to try and focus on it, it will tax our poor retinas to the point where they may well just leap off of our eyeballs and walk out the door. According to Wikipedia there have been five cases of this exact thing [citation needed].

"Don't swallow that gum! It takes seven years to pass through your digestive system!"

The Lie:

So there you are chewing gum and playing hopscotch while jumping rope on a roller coaster. You desperately try and keep that delicious resin-based goop in your mouth while enjoying your favorite activities, so one moment you're chewing on it, and then the next moment it feels as if a slug is climbing down your throat. It's then that your mother's words echo in your head, "Never swallow your gum, it'll take seven years before you crap it out." You suddenly picture years worth of gum accumulating in your stomach into a hardening clump that will, of course, kill you.

The Truth:



We would think you'd learn not to listen to your mother by this point, and that the only true thing she ever told you in your life was that you're adopted. The truth (as presented by Cracked.com and your friends at Hubba Bubba) is that you could swallow a whole thing of bubble tape and you'd get to see it come out the other end in a matter of days.

According to those killjoys over at Snopes, the reason your mom lied to you is because she was confused about the term "indigestible," which actually just means your stomach acids are unable to break down the components of gum. While this may sound unpleasant, note that no one ever accuses corn of ruining your digestive system, and it's just as hard to digest.

So the only thing this means is that your gum will appear intact upon exiting your body, which leaves it open to any number of workplace pranking opportunities, Cracked is not responsible for any injuries or firings resulting from that idea, but will gladly own up to any resulting hilarity.

"Put a jacket on! You'll catch a cold!"

The Lie:

We all heard this one while storming out the door in our pajamas in a desperate quest to bury ourselves in the field of fresh snow just outside the threshold of our homes. "Put a jacket on! You'll catch your death out there!" she'd scream, especially if this was all taking place in the 1950s. That's just like your mom to "kill your buzz" and "cramp your style" when all you wanted to do was skinny dip down in the ol' (half-frozen) fishing pond. So against your will you ended up waddling out the door bundled in seven layers of clothing, all due to your mother's half-cocked misconceptions about colds.

The Truth:

In your mother's defense, there's a definite causality between cold weather and colds, but we'll get to that in a moment, after explaining why she's so horribly, horribly wrong. You see, the "common cold" is caused by the rhinovirus, this friendly fellow:

An actual photo of the rhinovirus, from GiantMicrobes.com

What your mom misunderstood about our friend the rhinovirus is that he is just that, a virus. Viruses are pure undead malevolence encoded into genetic material and wrapped up in a creepy protein shell. They aren't even technically alive, so temperature has no affect on them. They're just tiny zombies that you can't even shoot in their microscopic zombie heads.

So why do people get a cold when it's cold out? It depends on who you ask, but if you ask Robert Bradsher M.D. you'll learn that "cold weather usually makes people stay indoors, which might increase the person-to-person transmission of respiratory viruses." Really, if your mother was smart and well informed she would have kicked your ass outside so she could enjoy her Southern Comfort, childless home and germ-free air.

It should also be noted that when you did finally catch that cold, your mom starving your cold and forcing orange juice down your throat did absolutely jack-all for curing you.

Chances are, your mom didn't tell you why some men are total douchebags, did she? Allow us to explain in our rundown of 5 Douchebag Behaviors That Can be Explained by Science. Or, read about the large breasted country singer Yoko Ono is suing for being too much like her dead husband.

Via cracked.com

New bride dies in her love's arms during their first dance

Lazarus/AP

Teddy Efkarpides' clutches a pair of slippers that belonged to his bride, Kim Sjostrom. She died in his arms during the first dance at their wedding.

DAVIE, Fla. - Kim Sjostrom wanted a real-life version of the film "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," which played in the background as friends fixed her hair and makeup before her own marriage ceremony.

But less than an hour after she and Teddy Efkarpides were wed, Sjostrom crumpled in her husband's arms during a Greek song that means "Love Me."

At 36, Sjostrom was dead from heart disease.

The wedding had became a project at Davie Elementary School, where Sjostrom taught first grade. Fellow teachers provided the wedding gown, the flowers and decorations. One of them, an ordained minister, performed the ceremony.

"It was perfect for her," said Dominic Church, the minister friend.

Sjostrom carried blue and white flowers during the ceremony — the colors of the Greek flag — as she exchanged vows with Efkarpides, a 43-year-old carpenter and Navy veteran. They had met three years to the day before the Jan. 19 wedding.

During the couple's first dance, Sjostrom complained of being lightheaded. Efkarpides thought his wife, a diabetic, needed sugar, but she collapsed.

Wedding guests, paramedics and doctors at a nearby hospital were unable to revive her.

She had a previous cardiac episode in her 20s and was a poster child — literally — for juvenile diabetes, relatives and friends said. Efkarpides recalled seeing the poster featuring her on New York subways.

He consoles himself by reading a list of "101 Reasons Why I Love You" that Sjostrom gave him their first Christmas together. "Number 1. You make me smile."

No. 98 is especially difficult: "You're the one I want to grow old with."

Lolita love affair scandalises Italy

A 34-year-old Italian man who had sex with a 13-year-old girl has had his sentence cut by a two-thirds because a court decided there was "real love" between the pair.

Antonio de Pascale, a butcher from Vicenza, admitted that he had a four-month long relationship with the girl, who sent him a stream of torrid text messages on his mobile phone.

His lawyers argued, however, that there was a "deep tenderness" between him and the girl and that he had "fallen head over heels in love" after a sexual encounter in his car. They said the girl had consented to every action.

The court in Vicenza accepted their opinion and sentenced de Pascale to only one year and four months in jail out of a possible 12-year term.

Because of a general amnesty for anyone who receives a sentence of less than three years, de Pascale is unlikely to serve any prison time for his Lolita-esque romance.

Antonio Marziale, the president of the Association for the Protection of the Rights of Minors, said the decision was "execrable".

He said: "It is not right to judge whether or not a 13-year-old girl is willing. The law should safeguard young girls who are too immature to make these decisions against adults without scruples."

However, Simonetta Matone, a judge in Rome, said the law must "always look to be reasonable in these cases".

She added: "Every relationship is a relationship and the real maturity, whether physical or psychological, of the minor must be weighed, with the help of experts."

The court decision has unleashed a wave of condemnation in Italy, and even authors of teen novels stepped forward to caution their readers against early sexual encounters.

Federico Moccia, the author of Excuse Me But I Love You, said: "This seems a very strange situation to me. Obviously in a relationship between a child and an adult, the adult has to stop himself. A girl has to be able to value the situation, and a girl this young is certainly not capable. My appeal to 13-year-olds is to wait for your time."

Via www.telegraph.co.uk.

Secret sex life of wombats

A satisfied wombat?
Photo: Dallas Kilponen

A complicated dance, a bite on the rump and ferocious backward
kicks are all part of the wombat's lovemaking repertoire, a new
study has revealed.

Until recently, there were no recorded observations of mating
between wombats.

But the director of Nocturnal Wildlife Research Ltd, biologist
Clive Marks, found wombats were more likely than the average Aussie
male to emulate moves from the Kama Sutra.

Mr Marks, whose findings are to be published this week in
Nature Australia magazine, says the first successful
captive breeding of wombats was recorded in Hannover, Germany, in
1982.

"With absolute precision, details of the wombat's sex life were
recorded and, surprisingly, it seemed anything but modest," he
says.

"It appeared to be a physically demanding process, complete with
chasing, biting, grunting and loads of heavy breathing."

Then in 1990, Mr Marks filmed the first common wombat courtship
and mating in captivity in Australia, at Tonimbuk Farm in
south-eastern Victoria.

"The female, after a prolonged period of copulation in the same
position, broke away and began to trot in a pattern of circles and
figures of eight.

"The male chased her, following closely behind, and then bit her
on the rump," he says.

"She immediately stopped just long enough to permit him to roll
her on her side and begin copulating again.

"If the male was slow to mount, she would kick back aggressively
and not let him roll her on her side again until she had run round
in more circles and figures of eight. This happened seven
times."

Space seems to be the key. Mr Marks says without the "hard to
get" figure eight dance, the female will not allow the male to
mount.

But zoo keepers are catching on. Mr Marks says biologist
Catriona MacCallum at the Western Plains Zoo in Dubbo has had
spectacular wombat breeding success.

"Joining and modifying the pen systems to permit a chase, she
not only found that wombat breeding was possible in captivity, but
she found herself with the first recorded case of wombat
twins."

Mr Marks says he hopes his study will solve the sloth-like image
problem of the common wombat, making the furry marsupials "the
symbol of Australian male sexual virility".

Sick And Tired Of Being Single? Here’s How To Find Love By Letting Go

By Lisa Quirke



Does true love and romance seem to run away from you?

Could you be unknowingly be pushing love away?

If you’ve been single any amount of time at all someone, somewhere has told you that the key to finding love is to stop looking. And I don’t know about you, but hearing that always completely frustrated me.  How will I ever find someone if I stop looking?  It just made no sense in my head.

That is until I realized that what I needed to do was not physically stop looking.  I should still put myself out there.  I should still follow inspired action.  What I do need to do is follow the steps the law of attraction gives us focusing especially on the the last step–receiving.

Ask. Believe. Receive. 

First, I ask the Universe for the relationship I want. Next, I believe that the Universe will deliver it.  Finally, and maybe most importantly, I become ready to receive it.

Becoming ready to receive actually involves a couple of sub-steps.  First, you must turn your request over to the Universe truly believing you will get what you asked for. Then, you need to detach yourself from the emotions involved in really wanting it.

Asking.

The trick to asking is this. Know what it is you want in a relationship.  Be specific and be positive.  Don’t put in negative terms.  Don’t say, for example, "I want a man who won’t treat me badly." The negativity is there and, simply put, if you ask for negativity that is exactly what you will get. Instead ask for a man who will value and nurture you.

If you have trouble doing this, first make a list of what you don’t want.  Then rewrite it in positive language.

Once you ask, follow inspired action to work toward getting it.  This may include joining an online dating site, expanding your social circle or checking out that new coffee shop in town.

Believing.

Believe with everything that you are that the Universe will grant your request.  Being skeptical will interfere with the process and end up attracting everything you don’t want. If you catch yourself in the middle of a negative thought, immediately reroute your thinking.

Receiving.

This is the part where you have to turn it over to the Universe and let it go. But turning it over to the Universe can be difficult.  For this we need to listen to the law of detachment.  This is where that stop looking for love thing comes in. We get too attached to what it is we are looking forward which leads to negative thoughts and emotions.  We end up focusing on that attachment and that negativity and we never receive the relationship we asked for.

But How Will I Ever Find it if I Let it Go?

Here’s the thing.  When we really want something, we become very emotionally attached to it.  Many times that attachment is based in fear.  Fear that there’s no one out there for you, fear that you’re not good enough to be loved, fear that you will grow old alone.  Letting go of that attachment, that fear, does not mean you are letting go of the desire or of the intention.  You are just letting go of the negative attachment to the outcome.

Besides when you look and look for that relationship, you become frustrated.  Negative emotions are born out of that frustration.  You find yourself thinking that there are no good men left, that all men are pigs, that there are only jerks on dating sites, and on and on.  Those negative emotions go straight to the ears of the Universe and that is what you find. 

Applying the Law of Detachment

The first thing to do is to identify the fear and negative emotions you are carrying around not only about men or relationships but also about yourself.  If you think you don’t deserve love, that fear will permeate every other thing.  It’s like a virus.  Fear feeds the virus and it grows and grows.  Your attachment will grow and detaching from it will become even more difficult.

Once you have identified and cleared the fear and negative emotions, you are ready to detach.  Commit to detachment. Allow yourself to enjoy the freedom of anticipating the joy of what will come.

Realize that uncertainty is the foundation of creativity.  Out of uncertainty comes solutions and freedom. Revel in the fabulousness of anticipating the wonderful things that uncertainty will bring.

Be open to all of the possibilities.  They are endless and exciting!  Experience the joy of life, have fun, broaden your horizons and soon love will find you. You won’t have to look for it any longer.

Via askdanandjennifer.com.

Ten Sexiest Jobs

By: Caroline Wilbert

Want to get asked out more often? Consider nursing school. Nursing is one of the ten sexiest professions, according to a 2007 survey from CareerBuilder.com.

The seemingly universal male fantasy about the nurse in the short white dress notwithstanding, I can see why nursing, which comes in at number six, made the list. There is something sexy about a person who takes care of you, and nice people (the case for most nurses, in my experience) are sexy.

If you want a sexier job but can’t handle bedpan duty, there are other options. You can become a cowboy, a professional athlete, or a model. (All easy career changes, I’m sure.)

Here’s a look at the Top Ten jobs:

1. Entertainer/Model: While the voters may have been thinking of famous types like George Clooney and Charlize Theron, I also think the indie musicians featured in DivineCaroline’s Mothers of Invention” column are sexy, like folk-rock singer and fiddle player Rani Arbo.

2. Cocktail Waitress: I take exception with this one. As somebody who’s done it, I don’t find schlepping liquor and beer particularly sexy. My amateur analysis: annoying men voted for this because waitresses are the only women in bars who are nice to them. (Guys: Some inside scoop. The waitresses don’t really think you are charming when heavily intoxicated. They work for tips.)

3. Athlete: Well, yeah, a championship athlete—with the body and spirit to match—is pretty sexy. (There are of course exceptions. Does Michael Vick, dog-fighting entrepreneur, turn anyone out there on?) Here at DC, we’ve got stories by and about sexy pro athletes like volleyball player Saralyn Smith and cyclist Katie Lambden.

4. Firefighter: Who could argue this one? These are men and women willing to put their lives in danger to protect us. Pretty sexy!

5. Cowboy: Hmm, yeah, I get this fantasy. It’s that image of a brooding loner riding off into the sunset. My only issue: can’t women be cowpeople too? Let’s amend number five to be “cowboys and cowgirls.”

6. Nurse: As I said before, I totally get what’s sexy about a nurse. I think I fell in love with all my nurses, male and female, after my children were born. They really seemed to care how I was feeling—and they gave me pain medication!

7. Artist: Totally! Artists are interesting and creative and that’s sexy—no doubt about it. Check out Kimetha Vanderveen’s montoypes and Jo Myers-Walker’s paintings.

8. Military Professional: Yeah, this is another one that’s hard to argue. No matter what you think about the war, you gotta respect the men and women who are risking their lives for our country.

9. Construction Worker: Indeed, there’s something manly about a burly guy with a hammer. In the article, Want To Succeed In Your Career? Construction Workers Tell You How, Patti Ghezzi interviewed some workers to get job advice. Turns out, construction workers are sexy and savvy—who knew?

10. TV Anchor/Personality: Not sure I agree that most of the blow-dried talking heads on TV are sexy. However, I do like Daryn Kagan, a former CNN anchor. After she lost her on-air gig, she started a company spreading good news via the Internet. Sexy stuff!

Via divinecaroline.com