воскресенье, 22 июня 2008 г.

Bad guys really do get the most girls

NICE guys knew it, now two studies have confirmed it: bad boys get the most girls. The finding may help explain why a nasty suite of antisocial personality traits known as the "dark triad" persists in the human population, despite their potentially grave cultural costs.

Young pair - bad guys and most girls


The traits are the self-obsession of narcissism; the impulsive, thrill-seeking and callous behaviour of psychopaths; and the deceitful and exploitative nature of Machiavellianism. At their extreme, these traits would be highly detrimental for life in traditional human societies. People with these personalities risk being shunned by others and shut out of relationships, leaving them without a mate, hungry and vulnerable to predators.But being just slightly evil could have an upside: a prolific sex life, says Peter Jonason at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces. "We have some evidence that the three traits are really the same thing and may represent a successful evolutionary strategy."

Jonason and his colleagues subjected 200 college students to personality tests designed to rank them for each of the dark triad traits. They also asked about their attitudes to sexual relationships and about their sex lives, including how many partners they'd had and whether they were seeking brief affairs.

The study found that those who scored higher on the dark triad personality traits tended to have more partners and more desire for short-term relationships, Jonason reported at the Human Behavior and Evolution Society meeting in Kyoto, Japan, earlier this month. But the correlation only held in males.

James Bond epitomises this set of traits, Jonason says. "He's clearly disagreeable, very extroverted and likes trying new things - killing people, new women." Just as Bond seduces woman after woman, people with dark triad traits may be more successful with a quantity-style or shotgun approach to reproduction, even if they don't stick around for parenting. "The strategy seems to have worked. We still have these traits," Jonason says.

This observation seems to hold across cultures. David Schmitt of Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois, presented preliminary results at the same meeting from a survey of more than 35,000 people in 57 countries. He found a similar link between the dark triad and reproductive success in men. "It is universal across cultures for high dark triad scorers to be more active in short-term mating," Schmitt says. "They are more likely to try and poach other people's partners for a brief affair."

Barbara Oakley of Oakland University in Rochester, Michigan, says that the studies "verify something a lot of people have conjectured about".

Christopher von Rueden of the University of California at Santa Barbara says that the studies are important because they confirm that personality variation has direct fitness consequences.

"They still have to explain why it hasn't spread to everyone," says Matthew Keller of the University of Colorado in Boulder. "There must be some cost of the traits." One possibility, both Keller and Jonason suggest, is that the strategy is most successful when dark triad personalities are rare. Otherwise, others would become more wary and guarded.

Via www.newscientist.com.

пятница, 6 июня 2008 г.

How To Date a Cute Girl from Work without Losing your Job

Odds say that 53% of men is eyeing up a work colleague. That includes you.
But a lot of these guys don’t take any action, because lets be frank; we don’t want to embarrass ourselves in front of the whole company.

How to date office girl easily


And you might lose your job. Maybe she might. Maybe you like it the way you can talk friendly to each other right now, and you don’t want any sour feelings between you.
There are 100’s of excuses and fears for not trying. But they don’t get you anywhere.
So let’s get down to business and see how you can approach her with minimum embarrassment and maximum results.

The how-to of dating women at work


  • Get to know her in a casual way. As some wise guy once said, “start by laying the foundations”. This is very important when it comes to dating a work girl. Smoothly start to make small talk with her at the water cooler. Talk to her casually at lunch. Simply make sure that she knows your name and who you are.

  • See her outside of work. Now that she knows who you are and you (may) have some friends in common, what would be more natural than grabbing a beer after work? Take 5-6 colleagues (including her) to a bar one day for a happy hour. Have fun! Be the guy that she would want to be with. Don’t flirt too heavily though, it’s best that she doesn’t know your dark intentions yet. This way there’s no pressure. At the bar, you can play a cute game with her. Remember that entertainment and fun is the most valuable values you can possess. So be fun, and have fun!

  • Be alone with her. This is the natural next step. If you enjoy her company, and she enjoys yours, you should get to know each other better. Don’t go overboard with things just yet, take it easy. Casually ask her what she is doing for lunch one day, or do a project together. Maybe just meet up with her at the coffee machine for a five minute conversation. It’s important that it’s just you and her, as she will most likely start to see you in a slightly new light afterwards. Also, if she has had some dirty thoughts about you, being alone with you confirms to her that there aren’t going to be awkward silence when it’s just you two, which may have held her back. Remember this: It’s not a date. It’s just two co-workers having lunch. Keep it light!

  • Check your progress. When you, her, and a bunch of colleagues are out together, how does she act? Does she keep coming over to you, talking to you, drinking with you, touching you? (Such as placing her hand on your arm, or your shoulder.) If yes, it’s time to go further. If she is interested in you (romantically), you should definitely go for it. If not, you have three options. Number one is to give up. If you and her isn’t going anywhere, this might be a good one. Don’t spend too much time or energy on one girl. Don’t stop talking to her altogether, just cool down a little. Number two is to keep doing what you’re doing. If you’re making slow but steady progress, this is a good idea. Just move things forward slowly. If you’re not, Number 3 is to change your approach. Do something new and different. If what you’re doing doesn’t work, do something else.

  • Ask her out. If everything has been going as it should, asking her out should be easy as cake. You want to get to know her better, and you feel attracted to each other. Go get her tiger!

With this approach, you run (almost) no chances. Until you’re sure that you get positive signs from her, you keep it very fun and friendly.
But when the signs do come, you turn it up a notch. Nothing too heavily, especially not in front of your work mates, but make sure to always more forward. Remember the “Two steps forward, one step back” rule.
Following these simple tips, you shouldn’t have a hard time dating girls from work. The most important things to remember is to keep it fun, keep it light and keep it casual. Make it really natural and flowing, and lay off all pressure so it won’t get awkward.

There are no limitations



No practical post without a little bit of motivational speak…
Remember that “time never waits”. Our bodies change every second. We get older. The world moves on. So don’t be afraid of change!
Give it a chance. Don’t ever disregard anything without giving it a fair shot.
No girl is “out of your league”. Don’t ever worry about what life “would be like”. Try to live and take action instead. Your best is always enough. It’s better than enough.

Good luck soldier!

Via justkeepthechange.com.

понедельник, 2 июня 2008 г.

Men prefer being solo over a bad marriage: study

SYDNEY (Reuters Life!) - Bachelor Carl Weisman got fed up of being classified as a playboy, a loser or a commitment-phobe so he set out to find out exactly why he and a growing number of eligible men were steering clear of marriage.
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Weisman, 49, conducted a survey of 1,533 heterosexual men to research a book aiming to give women an insight into why some smart, successful men opted to stay single -- and help lifelong bachelors understand why they are still the solo man at parties.

He concluded that most men were not afraid of marriage -- but they were afraid of a bad marriage.

"Men are 10 times more scared of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all," Weisman told Reuters in a telephone interview.

"This is the first generation of people who have grown up with bad divorces. People assume there is something wrong if you don't marry but these are men who have made a different choice and not given in to social pressures."

The release of his book "So Why Have You Never Been Married? - Ten Insights into Why He Hasn't Wed," comes amid a growing trend for more people to stay single, with less social or religious pressures on men -- and women -- to tie the knot.

Weisman said U.S. figures showed that in 1980 about 6 percent of men aged in their early 40s had never married but this number had now risen to 17 percent.

AFRAID TO MAKE MISTAKES

Weisman said his online survey found there are three groups of bachelors -- about 8 percent who never want to marry, 62 percent want to marry but of which half won't settle for anything less than perfection, and about 30 percent who are on the fence.

Four out of 10 bachelors did not want children compared to three out of 10 wanting to be a father. The rest were undecided.

But while 72 percent of respondents said they were not afraid of marriage, about half of them said the situation that scared them most was marrying the wrong person.

"It's so important to these men to get it right. My best advice to single women after bachelors is to be patient. If you're in a hurry to get married you'll be frustrated," he said.

Weisman also found that financial issues, both positive and negative, played a large part in men's fear of commitment.

"Those with little money said they would have nothing to offer a partner, with some suffering self-esteem issues and withdrawing from the dating pool," said Weisman, an engineer-turned-author with two books now published.

"While those who are financially sound were terrified what a bad divorce could do to them."

Weisman said his research blew away any idea that single men were unhappy.

"A compelling issue was how many of them had found contentment in a never-married life," he said. "They had created lives full of careers, friends and ambitions. It was not like they walk around all day worried about not being married."

For him, researching the book made him also look at himself -- and he ended up living with a girlfriend for the first time.

"Now we're looking at getting married. As I researched the book I found I was looking at men 10 years older than me and it was like looking into the future. If I didn't change, nothing would," he said.

Via news.yahoo.com.